When I say, “Mess with the bull and you’ll get the horns,” I mean it, especially when we’re talking about a bull bison. These things are enormous, bad-tempered, and since a healthy adult has no natural enemies, they will mess you up bad without a moment’s pause for thought.
That’s what a guy from (of course) New Jersey has found out.
A man sustained minor injuries after being gored by a bison in Yellowstone National Park Tuesday morning.
It happened around 9:45 a.m. in the Upper Geyser Basin at Old Faithful, according to a news release from park officials.
Officials say the bison charged the man, a 30-year-old from Randolph, New Jersey, after a large group approached it too closely. Though his injuries were minor, the news release says he was treated and taken to a nearby hospital.
Authorities are still investigating the situation.
This is the second reported incident of a person injured by a bison in 2025. The first occurred on May 7.
Paging Dr. Darwin, Dr. Charles Darwin. Doctor Charles Darwin, please pick up the white courtesy phone.
Honestly, how dumb can you get? This guy’s lucky he wasn’t tramped into little Jersey gobs.
“Bison will defend their space when threatened and have injured more 
people in Yellowstone than any other animal. They are unpredictable and can run three times faster than humans,” park officials say in a news release.
Officials are reminding people to stay more than 25 yards away from all large animals – bison, elk, bighorn sheep, deer, moose, and coyotes. Stay at least 100 yards away from bears, wolves, and cougars.
“If wildlife approach you, move away to always maintain these safe viewing distances,” the news release says. “The safety of these animals – and humans – depends on everyone using good judgment and following 
these simple rules.”
A bull bison can grow almost seven feet in height at the shoulders. They can weigh up to a ton and a half. They are the largest land animal in North America, and you’d better belive they damn well know it. A mature, healthy adult bull stands supreme; not even a grizzly will mess with it.
Seriously, people, stay away from bison. Stay away from all big, hairy critters. Next to a bull bison or a full-grown bull moose, the most badass human that ever lived is small change. Watch them from a distance. That’s why we have binoculars.
