Some deep thoughts for your Friday!

Sometimes it seems unfair that we spend our youths working our asses off so that we can enjoy free time while we’re old and decrepit.  But then, when I get old(er), I don’t plan to be decrepit.

I wonder why people buy high-performance cars and then drive five miles under the speed limit in the left lane on the interstate.  I spied a couple just such on our recent drive back from Iowa; one a new Mustang, another an older Camaro.  Makes no sense.

I wonder why the person who invented the brassiere made them hook in the back.  Seems counter-intuitive to me, not to mention damned inconvenient.

I wonder why the call it a “lisp” when, if you have one, you can’t say so.

I wonder why Paris Hilton is a “celebrity.”  (Scare quotes intentional.)  From what (admittedly little) I’ve heard from her, she’s about as witty, intelligent and interesting as a plate of beans trying to negotiate their way out of someone’s colon.

I don’t wonder who wrote the Book of Love.  I have my reasons.

I wonder why Japanese schoolgirls wear what amounts to a sailor’s outfit.  They are not going to school on a ship.  Does anyone know?

I wonder if all the porn were suddenly deleted from the internet, the resulting void would collapse into a singularity and draw the rest of the Earth down its gravity well.

I wonder if that did happen, would it happen too fast for anyone to blog about it?

I wonder if Kaiser Bill mustaches will ever make a comeback.  I don’t have a robust enough mustache to try that style myself, which is the source of considerable frustration.  I’d love to be able to start that particular trend.

I have every intention of living forever.  And from my perspective, I will.  We all live until the end of time.

The Swiss Army must have always been very confident of victory in any conflict they engaged in.  Why else would they include a corkscrew on their Army knife?

Trying to get rich by playing the state lottery is like trying to commit suicide by flying on commercial airliners.  In fact, your odds of dying on an airliner is probably higher than winning the lottery.  It is for this reason that the various state lotteries are knows as a “tax on stupidity.”  If you feel like gambling, play slot machines.  The odds of winning are much higher.

Incidentally, my favorite term for “deep thoughts” in general is the Latin omphaloskepsis, which means, in effect, to scrutinize one’s own navel.  I like dropping oddball terms like that into conversations, just to see how people react.  I’m odd like that.

And on that thoughtful note, we return you to your Friday, already in progress.

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