Thanks as always to Pirate’s Cove, Flappr, The Other McCain, If You’re Left You Ain’t Right, and Bacon Time for the Rule Five links!

Now, just when you think you’ve seen the limit of weird shit:

Doctors in Vietnam reported a patient’s horrific experience of having a 2-foot eel chew through his intestines after he reportedly inserted it into his anus. Surgeons were able to save the man’s life and extract the eel, though not without removing part of his colon as well. It’s a bizarre real-world incident that reads like the trailer for the upcoming Alien: Romulus movie.

Viet Duc University Hospital in Hanoi reported the body horror tale late last month. On July 27,  a 31-year-old man, originally from India, visited the emergency department with severe abdominal pain. According to the hospital, the man soon admitted that he had willingly stuck a large eel up through his anus. He was quickly given imaging tests, which confirmed the eel’s presence, and then prepped for a colonoscopy to remove it rectally. But the doctors discovered a complication: The man had also inserted a lemon into his anus, seemingly to ensure that the eel wouldn’t wriggle out the way it came.

I don’t know what the hell to say to that.

Our oldest has worked in emergency medicine for almost twenty years.  She has some great stories; a lot of them involved the excuse “I didn’t see it when I sat down,” which is pretty much never the reason these sickos have anything from a light bulb to a pop bottle stuck up their ass.

But an eel? A predatory eel?

That’s a new one.