Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks as always to Pirate’s Cove, The Other McCain and Bacon Time for the Rule Five links!

It seems the notoriously bat-shit crazy Gwyenth Paltrow now has a treatment for “Long COVID,” whatever that is.  Excerpt:

In a recent blog post, Paltrow revealed that she fell ill with COVID-19 “early on” in the pandemic and is now suffering from long COVID. Specifically, she says she has experienced fatigue and brain fog in the aftermath of her infection. That’s very unfortunate, and she has our sincere sympathies. Luckily, though, she seems to be managing her prolonged illness extremely well, staying physically active, social over zoom, focused on improving the look of her skin, and involved in creative business projects.

In fact, she has even found an evidence-free but certainly effective treatment regimen for her long COVID. And she’d just love to tell you about it in a post loaded with products from her lifestyle e-commerce brand Goop and affiliate links.

To help develop the regimen, the actor-turned-peddler of exploding vagina candles consulted with a chiropractor (naturally). The chiropractor, Will Cole, set Paltrow on a part-fasting, part-keto dietary plan that’s somehow “plant-based,” except that it includes “fish and a few other meats.” To complement this “freewheeling” diet, Paltrow also gulps a $102 fist-full of vitamins and supplements, which get washed down with a $60 “detoxifying” powder mixed with water.

Even though Paltrow says that she felt “energized, healthier” before even starting the diet, Cole informed her that based on her “labs” she needs a lot of healing, which will take “longer than usual.” Because, of course, who even needs evidence of benefits in the short term when you can just sign yourself up indefinitely for a pricy, unproven, long-term treatment that will pay off… someday… probably?

I think Gwyneth has been suffering from brain fog for a long, long time, and it’s not because of the Kung Flu.  I’ll grant you that she’s a competent actress and easy on the eyes, but if there was anyone that ever was walking proof that talent and good looks don’t necessarily go hand in hand with brains, it’s Gwyneth Paltrow.

The whole Kung Flu thing has sure generated a surfeit of horseshit, but honestly, Gwyneth Paltrow, she of the exploding vagina candles, sure has a knack for taking horseshit to a whole new level.  What’s sad is that there are actually people that are stupid enough to be taken in by this crap.

Goop, indeed.  The real Goop is between Gwyneth’s ears.