Category Archives: Culture

Culture for the cultured and uncultured alike.

Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks as always to The Other McCain, Pirate’s Cove, The Daley Gator, Flappr, Whores and Ale, and Bacon Time for the Rule Five links!

Now then: Who the hell thought this was in any way appropriate?

Deer Creek School District released a statement Friday afternoon after a video was sent to Fox 25 that showed students licking toes during an event for the school’s Wonderful Week of Fundraising.

“It was surprising,” an anonymous student told Fox 25. “I didn’t think they were going to do all that. I was just shocked. I didn’t really have like a feeling. I was kind of disgusted, and then kind of glad I wasn’t over there.”

“Whenever she told me yesterday that was happening, I had to ask her, ‘Wait, what? They’re licking peanut butter off of toes,” an anonymous parent said. “What?”

The week was spent raising money for Not Your Average Joe Coffee, which employs people with intellectual, developmental, and physical disabilities.

“I am all for fundraising and all for really fun and silly things, but that right there just seems a little excessive,” the parent said.

What the actual fuck?  Here’s the video:

The statement claims that no Deer Creek teachers or faculty took part in this disgusting exercise, which begs the question: “Then who did?”

Oklahoma’s State Secretary of Schools had the right reply:

Damn right, this needs to be cleaned up.  Anyone in the school system who enabled this in any way should be cashiered, forthwith.  If the schools, or indeed any organization want to use school-aged kids for fundraisers, let them do sack races, or chili cook-offs, or something sensible.  For example:  Here in the Great Land, every April there is a gun show down in Big Lake, that raises money for the Big Lake High School boy’s hockey team.

Plenty of folks on the left will no doubt rheeeee about that, but it’s sure as hell a lot saner and healthier than having school kids lick peanut butter off adults’ toes.

Honestly. Just when you think you’ve hit Peak Stupid, some shit like this comes up.

Rule Five Eight Predictions Friday

Earlier this week, over at The Messenger, Joe Concha made a few predictions about 2024.  As should surprise none of you, I have some thoughts.  So, without further ado:

Prediction: Donald Trump comfortably wins an ugly presidential election to become the nation’s 47th president 

Yes, he’s facing 91 felony counts. Yes, Democrats in blue states are attempting to keep him off the ballot. And, yes, this is Trump we’re talking about, who is as undisciplined as any candidate in history. But the country is in such bad shape under President Joe Biden and Biden’s numbers are so low that it’s almost impossible to see voters in the states that matter — including Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, Nevada, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin — helping to reelect him. 

This is a tad premature; not one primary vote has yet been cast.  Still, look at the RealClearPolitics polling averages, and it looks like the odds at present are heavily favoring Trump; and boy howdy, will there ever be an epic meltdown if this happens.

Prediction: Trump chooses Nikki Haley as his running mate

Hard-core Trumpers won’t like it, but they aren’t going anywhere in terms of support regardless of their distaste for Haley, whom they see as a warmonger and corporate-owned.

No.  Just no.  I doubt Haley would accept the job in any case.  But, bear in mind, all the usual expectations are out the window; we are literally in uncharted waters for the 2024 election.

Prediction: Republicans take back the Senate

Even Republicans can’t screw this up, but they certainly will try their best. 

The odds are in their favor, yes, especially with “progressive” Democrats slamming that Overton Window for their party to the far left as fast as they can go.  But there is no organization better at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory than the Republican Party – see 2022.

Prediction: Mike Johnson ousted as House Speaker 

Republicans such as Reps. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) and Andy Biggs (R-Ariz.) are under some kind of delusion that the GOP has complete leverage in Congress and do not have to negotiate with Democrats on matters like spending bills. Former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) did just that because the numbers were not there, thanks to his fractured party, and got ousted for his efforts. 

I really have no idea on this one.  Mr. Concha makes a good argument.  All I can say is “we’ll see.”

Prediction: The Russia-Ukraine war drags on into 2025 

It’s a lather-rinse-repeat cycle at this point. Russia can’t advance outside of the Eastern front, while Ukraine can’t push out the Kremlin’s forces. The United States keeps throwing billions into the war, while Putin keeps throwing bodies to the front lines with not a care about casualties that are reportedly close to 300,000 on the Russian side. Neither side will negotiate. 

Yeah.  Hell yeah.  On all counts.  Probably will drag on into 2026, 2027, and maybe longer.  And it won’t end well for either party.

Prediction: Warner Brothers and Paramount Global will merge. 

This combo will not only bring together streaming behemoths like Max and Paramount+ but will also put third-place CBS News and third-place CNN under the same umbrella.

I’m not sure where this prediction is coming from, but for me, it’s all I can do to muster a “meh.”

Prediction: The Dallas Cowboys will not win the Super Bowl 

C’mon, folks, I needed an easy one to add here. “America’s Team” hasn’t won a championship in nearly 30 years…

I’m going to stop you right there.  I know nothing about sportsball so am utterly unqualified to essay an opinion here, and honestly, it rates really low on my Give-A-Shit-O-Meter.

Prediction: Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce get engaged 

Yes, Taylor has been in multiple high-profile relationships that went bust.

The correct answer here is, “Who gives a shit?”

I’m generally not sanguine about this sort of thing. Predictions are notoriously hard to make, especially about the future.  But as for the ones I care anything about – really only the top 3 – I can only say, “We’ll see.”  As for predictions of my own, I’ll offer one: The 2024 POTUS election will be an utter shit-show, and no matter the results, it will be argued over for the next four years.

Animal’s Daily Get A Load Of This News

First up, thanks as always to The Other McCain, The Daley Gator, Pirate’s Cove, Whores and Ale, Bacon Time, and Flappr for the Rule Five linkery!

Now then:  Get a load of these assholes.

On December 3, a radical group hosted a “teach-in” titled “From Minnesota to Palestine.” The panelists linked America and Israel as “settler colonialist” nations–the only ones, apparently, in world history–and thus the source of all evil. This is the whole thing. It goes on for more than two hours, and I don’t recommend that you watch it. Among other things, the panelists celebrate the Hamas massacre of October 7 as a model for “indigenous” uprisings:

Here’s the money shot:

Yeah, it’s not going to happen.

What’s up with these dumbasses? What they claim to be agitating for ain’t gonna happen, not in a million years.  It’s not possible. It never will be possible. It’s not even within shouting distance of reality.  If these assholes think they are going to make me give up my little piece of land in the Alaska woods, they are going to have to come a’shooting, and it ain’t gonna go well for them.

But I think I have an idea.  These stupid asses are academics.  They are sucking on the taxpayer teat to spread this crap.  They don’t really give a crap about land back; that might force them to actually take care of whatever land they got back.  They certainly don’t want to return to an aboriginal lifestyle; they wouldn’t last a year.  What they do want to do is set themselves up as even more radical than yesterday’s passel of assholes, to keep that big government teat in their faces.

That’s all.  That’s what they want.  Not your land. Just your money.

Rule Five Climate Cult Friday

Issues & Insights, one of my favorite interwebz reads, asked the question on Monday, “How far will the Climate Cult go?” And I think I know the answer: All the way.

Here are the salient points:

  • Carbon passports are catching among the climate clergy. “Personal carbon allowances could help curb carbon emissions and lower travel’s overall footprint. These allowances will manifest as passports that force people to ration their carbon in line with the global carbon budget,” says a report from a ​​small group adventure travel company. “By 2040, we can expect to see limitations imposed on the amount of travel that is permitted each year.” CNN reports that “several laws and restrictions have been put in place over the past year that suggest our travel habits may already be on the verge of change.”
  • In Great Britain, “property owners who fail to comply with new energy rules could face jail time as the government pushes ahead with net zero measures,” according to media reports.
  • Ann Carlson, the White House’s acting National Highway Traffic Safety Administration administrator, “has long stressed the need to force Americans to live climate-friendly lives,” according to the Washington Free Beacon. While an academic at UCLA, she insisted the federal government is duty-bound to “induce behavioral change” by enacting policies that “make the bad behavior more expensive.” She has also said we “could benefit from a simpler life” but doesn’t believe “most people will engage in dramatic behavioral change” unless they are “forced” to. 
  • Meat will be off the menu if the climatistas get their way.
  • United Nations researchers recently told the Guardian “that scientists should be given the right to make policy prescriptions and, potentially, to oversee their implementation by the 195 states signed up to the U.N. framework convention on climate change.” Journalist Alex Newman – correctly – says doing so “would undermine self-governance while ushering in an ‘insane’ totalitarian technocratic form of government.”

Holy crap.

If this season’s line-up on the Fascist Fantasy Network wasn’t enough, I&I continues:

“How we live, heat, get around, travel and what we eat could soon no longer be an individual decision, but increasingly be dictated by the state,” says Kristina Schröder, who served under German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

Germany’s Federal Family Minister from 2009 to 2013 regards the pandemic restrictions as “a blueprint for the climate movement on how to enforce fundamental restrictions on basic rights” and is “convinced that large sections of the climate protection movement are also fighting our way of living and our economy at least as much as they are fighting climate change.”

We didn’t have as much of this bullshit when the schools still taught things like history, economics, civics, and actual critical thinking; nowadays, of course, “critical thinking” is interpreted by the left as “you’ll think what we tell you and damn well like it.”

None of these things will apply to the elites, of course.  They will retain their private jets, their yachts, and their filet Mignon with spotted owl appetizers.  And it’s not the climate they are pushing for – it’s power, the power to control what the hoi polloi say and do, and that’s for sure and for certain. The foot soldiers of the climate movement are loud, loutish, and annoying.  But the leaders – many of them – wield power, and it is their agenda on which we must stay appraised.

And, as I’ve always said and will continue to say, I’ll believe there is a climate crisis when the people who keep telling me there’s a climate crisis start behaving like there’s a climate crisis.

Animal’s Daily Lardass News

Allow me to belabor the obvious here: Being a big fatass is not healthy.

Recently, at least four “social media influencers” were claiming that it is, in fact, healthy to be a gigantic land-whale. The problem is that they all died.  Before they turned 45. 

Paging Dr. Darwin – will Dr. Charles Darwin please pick up the white courtesy phone?

The past decade has seen extraordinary momentum building around a central argument that being obese doesn’t have to mean unhealthy. In other words, you can be fat and fit.

Branded Health At Every Size, or HAES, the philosophy has, at its heart, laudable goals. It aims to counter the multi-billion-dollar diet industry – which has a poor record when it comes to long-term, sustainable weight loss – and act as an antidote to the stigma encountered by people struggling with their weight.

But the problem isn’t people who are struggling with their weight – as in, trying to do something about it. The problem is with the people who embrace their fatassedness, and claim that it’s healthy and attractive.

Self-styled ‘fat activists’, meanwhile, not only promote larger bodies as healthy but reject decades of science which prove the dangers of excess body fat, encouraging devotees to ignore doctors who recommend they lose weight.

Some dieticians backing the belief even oppose weight-loss jabs such as Wegovy (also known as Ozempic) and bariatric surgery because they ‘continue to encourage weight loss as an important part of health’.

One organisation, HAES UK, described weight-loss surgery as ‘mutilating body parts’ and ‘not compatible with loving your body as it is’. And those who criticise it are labelled ‘fat-phobic’ or ‘anti-woke’.

As opposed to the people who hold these views, who may be accurately labeled as “anti-factual.”

Look, like a lot of guys in my age range (early ’60s) I’m carrying a few extra pounds.  I’m also active, having a rural household to maintain, and according to my doc, in pretty good health for a guy who is moving reluctantly towards senior-citizen status.  My weight has been ticking steadily downwards, month by month, not due to crash diets or fads but due to lifestyle changes.  I intend to make a century, and carrying extra weight is not the way to do that.

That’s something these “fat activists” would do well to figure out.

Too bad “Code Name Lardass” was already taken.

Animal’s Hump Day News

Programming notes: As this is the last Wednesday before Christmas, I’ll just note that there won’t be any regular posts on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day proper (Christmas Eve is on a Sunday, anyway, when I normally don’t post) but I will bring you some toothsome holiday totty on those days.

In between the holidays, regular posts will be going up as usual, including next week’s Hump Day links compendium and Rule Five Friday.  New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day will repeat the Christmas totty schedule, then on Jan 2nd, 2024, regular posts resume.  In other words, I plan on battering away at my keyboard over the holidays pretty much as usual, here and at RedState.

2024.  Can you believe it?  What the hell happened to 2023?  Oh, and with the New Year, we’ll do our annual traditional celebration of diversity on our Saturday posts, so you all have that to look forward to.  And in the new year, we’ll have some changes on the site, and some new stuff for you all to look forward to.

And so…

Continue reading Animal’s Hump Day News

Animal’s Daily Oldest Profession News

Before we get into this, check out a preview of coming attractions over at Glibertarians!  The Glibs will be on semi-hiatus over the holiday, I’m told, so my usual Monday fiction slot will resume on January 8th.

Now then: Turns out that December is the busy season for Oldest Profession practitioners all over, not just in Senate chambers. Mia Lee is one such, who caters to the Wall Street market and is making some Wall Street-level bucks in so doing.

Lee — who has been a professional escort for five years and a stripper for a year and a half — said the first two weeks of December tended to be one of the busiest and most lucrative periods of the year for her line of work. In just one of those weeks, Lee can bring in nearly $34,000.

“I think it’s a combination of the cold weather and holiday parties that bring out more clients. And a decent number of them don’t really like spending time with their families, so they’re looking for an escape,” Lee said.

Strippers in London, Texas, and even Alaska have also reported increased clientele in December. Some dancers have also said that their clubs tend to have a warmer, more generous-feeling atmosphere leading up to Christmas, as Vice previously reported.

Well, isn’t that interesting?

And when you look at Miss Lee, it’s apparent that she has the right assets to bring to this business proposition.

Image from article.

The entire article presents a look into the day in the life of a stripper/escort, and I’ll leave it to you True Believers to pursue that knowledge or not, just as suits you.  But as to the larger question, that being the morality of the whole thing, I say, “So what?”  It is belaboring the obvious to point out that nobody is being forced to participate in Miss Lee’s “services.”  I would find a married guy who dallies with an “escort” to be a scumbag, but that’s between him, his wife, and his conscience. I wouldn’t, but there are lots of things I wouldn’t do.

As far as the seasonal aspect, all I can say is, “Baby, it’s cold outside.”

Rule Five Outcomes Of Barbarity Friday

I’ve held off on coverage here of the October 7th attacks on Israel and the aftermath, partly because the issue hits close to some experiences I’ve had in the Middle East myself, partly because I’ve done all the reporting and punditizing I can deal with on this over at RedState.  But this looked like something I wanted to discuss here, so I’m free of editorial restraint when describing fucking savages.

Now, a couple of months after the attack, the fucking savages in Hamas are returning some of their hostages, and now doctors treating those hostages are finding they have to invent entirely new categories of trauma to describe what these poor people suffered at the hands of, yes, fucking savages.

A doctor treating freed Hamas hostages in Israel says survivors are suffering from an unprecedented level of “extremely severe psychological abuse” endured during captivity. 

“I can tell you that on behalf of all the medical and psychological teams treating those who return, the mental states we encountered have no precedent in medical literature. We feel that we have to rewrite the textbooks of post-trauma,” Dr. Renana Eitan told “Sunday Night in America.”

Eitan revealed the Tel Aviv Medical Center is actively treating more than 15 former hostages and described their “severe physical and mental abuse.”

My RedState colleague Bob Hoge had this to say in his analysis:

As my colleague Bonchie reported earlier Monday, the reason Hamas didn’t free more women in the hostage swap is because the terror outfit/government authority doesn’t want them to tell the world what actually happened to them down in the tunnels.

That implies that there are some captives who have been treated much worse than the ones Dr. Eitan has been treating, which is a horrific thought.

Yes, that is a horrific thought.

The fucking savages in Hamas who attacked Israel on October 7th committed acts of utter barbarity that the planet hasn’t seen since… well, acts of utter barbarity committed by ISIS, which group is also made up of fucking savages.  And, while I’m normally loathe to suggest outright war, in this case, it’s plainly justified. Israel is perfectly justified in hunting down every one of these fucking savages and un-aliveing them. These are people who committed rape on a massive scale; they murdered whole families, including children and infants; they tortured and burned.  The only proper reply is to wipe Hamas off the face of the planet.

Did I mention that Hamas are fucking savages?

The cease-fire now appears to be behind us. The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) are moving into southern Gaza now, and the hunt is once more on.  And for once, it doesn’t look like the U.S. needs to place any soldiers on the ground, and that’s good; the IDF is perfectly capable of handling this on its own. And to members of the IDF,  I can only say this:

Good hunting.  Show these scum what badassery really is.

And if any of the fucking savages from Hamas happen to see this page, and take offense at the display of the Feminine Aesthetic therein, I can only ask that they go fuck themselves.

Did I mention that Hamas are fucking savages?

Animal’s Hump Day News

Happy Hump Day!

Housekeeping notes: A week from today we’ll be flying to Iowa, leaving our house-sitters in place here, where we will spend a week with the entire Animal family at our annual Thanksgiving/Christmas family reunion.  Posts will be scheduled for the balance of next week, and the week of the 27th will be taken up with some placeholder totty.  Regular posts will resume Monday, Dec 4th.

Now then…

Continue reading Animal’s Hump Day News

Rule Five Code Duello Friday

I’m going to expand on some deep thoughts I presented a few years back, thoughts that I just had occasion to recall during a discussion with a buddy the other day.  To put it simply: Should dueling be legal?

I’m not talking about sparring on Twitter or in the comments section of some news story.  I’m talking honest to gosh, 18th century-style, pistols at ten paces dueling.

Dueling has been illegal everywhere in the United States, indeed in most of the Western world since the early 19th century at least.  But let’s set aside our ingrained prejudices for a moment and ask ourselves, in a society that honestly and completely exists under the concept of liberty – should it be?

Let’s say two men (or women, or one of each, whatever) have a serious disagreement, one which cannot be reconciled by any normal means.  Courts have been unable to arrive at a settlement acceptable to both.  Counsel has failed.  They are well and truly at loggerheads.

So, both of them, as capable, competent, consenting adults, in full possession of their faculties, agree to pistols at sunrise to settle the dispute.  They meet in a field with their seconds, who oversee the loading of the pistols; they take their places, step away from each other on the count and, when indicated, turn and fire.  One is killed, the other emerges the victor.

I’d use these, just for the sake of tradition.

Now – answer me this – what crime has been committed?

Oh, yes, I know there is a statutory crime committed.  But has there been a moral crime?  Both parties went into the affair knowing that death was a likely outcome.  I’ve read that back when the code duello was more commonly practiced, it was considered the gentlemanly thing to do to just pink your opponent in the arm or leg and claim victory without fatality, but fatal injuries were a normal outcome; it even happened to one of the more famous of our Founding Fathers.

But even in the event of a fatality – what qualifies this as a crime?  Both parties agreed to the duel.  Both parties know the likely outcome.  Both parties are, presumably, competent to make the decision.  If we are truly to be a society that values personal liberty, we must also be a society that allows people to face the likely consequences of that liberty.  Dueling may be an extreme example of that, but it’s no less a valid one.

So.  Should dueling be legalized?  If, in a society based first and foremost on the principle of individual liberty, two parties agree to settle their differences in one-on-one mortal combat, knowing the outcome is likely to be at least one of them shuffling off the mortal coil, then what role does government play in preventing them from so doing?

Obviously there would have to be some limits.  You could scarcely allow a duel between two people using nuclear weapons as the weapon of choice, for example.  I’d be willing to consider the following restrictions:

  • Weaponry limited to personal, individual weapons only. Pistols, swords, or even a sniper duel with rifles, but no explosives, machine guns or flamethrowers, entertaining as that last one would be.  Why?  Because of the possibility of the battle spilling over onto observers or bystanders.  That would be… bad.
  • Both parties obviously to be competent, consenting adults, willing to sign legal documents waiving any damages or legal penalty from any death or disability resulting from the duel.
  • I suppose I’d entertain the idea of a cooling-down period between filing of the legal paperwork and the event itself, since death is a likely (and final) outcome.
  • It seems to me that seconds would be a reasonable requirement. The seconds’ role is to act as a dispassionate advocate for the duelist.  The seconds act in concert, presumably without the inflamed passions that led to the duel, to ensure that the duel is fair, that neither duelist takes an unfair advantage.
  • Some kind of time limit to the combat itself seems like a good idea. Say the parties agree to a duel by sword; if they hack away for, say, two hours, until both are on the brink of collapse, there ought to be a way for the seconds to call a draw.

The trouble here is as with so many things; the limits here would have to be legislated, and as it is the nature of government to grow ever larger and more intrusive, eventually the code duello would be so full of requirements and conditions as to be useless, kind of like the tax code.  Really, it would be better to have the government as completely divorced as possible from the process.  The only law that applies would be contract law.

“But Animal,” some might ask, “wouldn’t a duel have the possibility of setting off a vendetta, say between two families?”

“Sure,” I’d reply, “…and as long as all parties agree to the code duello and the likely consequences, and follow the guidelines and rules applying, then, fine.  I really have very little problem with families who are so prickly that they can’t settle their differences by non-legal means thinning themselves out thusly, and besides, you can only have the duel if both parties agree; this makes it pretty easy to break the chain.”

“Even so,” the questioners go on, “wouldn’t you have the possibility of a revenge killing outside the code duello system?”

“Again, sure,” I’d reply, “…and that would be a crime, to be dealt with by the legal system just like any other premeditated murder.”

“But… wouldn’t this disproportionately affect (insert name of particular aggrieved community/ethnicity/religion/whatever here)?”

“Probably.  So what?”

“What about the families they leave behind?  Their children!  Think of their children!”

“It’s not my place to think about their children; it’s their damn place to think of their children.  So, they leave behind some orphans?  Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“But wait,” comes one final question, “…what about the Non-Aggression Principle?”

“That’s an interesting one.  It seems to me that both parties are initiating aggression in unison, by prior agreement under conditions also agreed to.  So, yes, both parties are violating the NAP – and neither are.  As the initiation is simultaneous – say, five paces, turn and fire – then both are initiating, and both are responding.  You can make an argument here that the NAP doesn’t apply.”

It’s a pretty problem.

Of course, this is just an intellectual exercise, and it’s unlikely in the extreme that dueling will ever be legalized, anywhere, in our modern era and, honestly, one would hope that civilized people have better ways to resolve their differences.

But the veneer of civilization is pretty damn thin.  If things ever got to the point where trial by arms was again an acceptable way to settle differences, it would be best to have some kind of guidelines around how to conduct those trials.

More to the point, I find the moral question interesting.  It seems to me that a duel is morally acceptable if both parties are competent adults, fully informed, and willing to sign on to a legally binding agreement to enter into mortal combat.

So.  Thoughts?