All posts by Animal

Animal’s Daily Trump Triumphant News

Before I get into this, check out the latest chapter of Barrett’s Privateers – Plague Ship over at Glibertarians!

OK, well, maybe he’s not altogether triumphant yet, but it makes for a good headline. The high point, of course, of CPAC 2024 was Saturday’s speech by none other than former President Donald Trump, and he was up to his usual Trumpisms.

See for yourself:

That evening, the once and (it’s looking more and more likely) future President went to South Carolina, where primary voters handed him a victory and their former Governor Nikki Haley a pasting.

Super Tuesday is coming up fast. By mid-March, Trump could easily have enough delegates in his pocket to cinch the nomination. As the late, great Dr. Charles Krauthammer said of Trump in the 2016 primary season, which you may remember had a much larger field, “…it’s beginning to look as though he might just pull this off.”

Meanwhile, and speaking of pulling it off (hah) Joe Biden is giving young White House staffers advice on sex.

At CPAC, as I’ve already reported, Trump was predictably Trump, right down to showing up almost an hour late. He gave a noteworthy speech, showing humor, a penchant for story-telling, some needle-pointed jabs at Joe Biden, and in short, came off as what he is – a real-estate guy from Queens.

Whatever you think of Trump – and you all may remember that in these virtual pages, I was a DeSantis man until he dropped out – he’s almost certainly going to be the GOP candidate, and unless the Dems find a way to ease befuddled old Joe Biden out the door and follow up by ousting the cackling imbecile he chose as VP, then he’ll likely win a Grover Cleveland-like nonconsecutive second term.

My concern in the short term over a Trump victory is this: If he wins, and it’s looking more and more likely, then it’s Katie-bar-the-door, because the cities may well erupt in “peaceful protests” that will make the 2020 Summer of Love look like a Girl Scout jamboree.

Get out of the cities!

 

Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks as ever to Pirate’s Cove, The Daley Gator, The Other McCain, Flappr, Whores and Ale, and Bacon Time for the Rule Five links!

This morning finds me at my in-laws’ house in Denver, back from CPAC 2024; this was, to say the least, an interesting experience. Tomorrow my own dear Mrs. Animal and I will proceed hither back to the Great Land, where I will await the next major event that will drag me kicking and screaming out of Alaska.

One of the greatest things about events like this is the occasional chance to shake hands with someone and say “Hey, I’ve always wanted to meet you!”  During this event, I not only got some face-to-face time with my RedState colleagues, but also with pundit and author Kurt Schlichter, Townhall’s Larry O’Connor, and a bevy of motivated and enthusiastic attendees. I was interviewed by NewsMax’s John Tabacco, and just generally spent a lot of time gassing with people hanging around.

Now, it’s back to work, and in between, spending some time with Mrs. Animal’s parents, who are some of the best people I’ve ever known. We’ll continue regular news and commentary tomorrow.  Excelsior!

Rule Five Viagra Alternative Friday

Yes, you read the headline right; yes, attending CPAC (not to mention being away from my beloved Mrs. Animal) has me in a rather odd frame of mind.  Turns out that the study of mouse erections has granted scientists insights into how better to deal with Erectile Dysfunction (ED) in humans.  That’s not to be confused with Electoral Dysfunction, which is how we ended up with Joe Biden as President.

By studying male mice’s erections, scientists discovered that two types of cells in the penis are essential for triggering and maintaining a boner. 

Although the cells are also abundant in the human penis, their crucial role in erections was previously unknown, according to a new study published Thursday (Feb. 8) in the journal Science.

“Because the mechanisms of penile erection are similar in mice and humans, these findings may be relevant to erectile dysfunction in aged men,” Ji-Kan Ryu of the Inha University School of Medicine and Gou Young Koh of the Institute for Basic Science in South Korea, wrote in a commentary of the new study.

The findings may point to new ways of treating erectile dysfunction in humans, the study authors wrote in their paper. Standard drugs like Viagra don’t work for up to 30% of patients and they can’t be used by those who take certain medications or have specific medical conditions.

Note: I can neither confirm nor deny that the juxtaposition of this topic on Rule Five Friday is coincidental.

Now, as to mice boners; it turns out that something called a fibroblast is involved – and presumably in humans as well, as humans and mice are surprisingly close, taxonomy-wise.

While nitric oxide is a key player in this process, it’s not the only one. In their new study, the researchers were interested in studying fibroblasts, cells that make connective tissue and that are the most abundant type of cell in the human corpora cavernosa. The team wanted to understand whether these cells help control blood flow to the penis.

One can only imagine what getting funding for his research was like – a squeaker, no doubt.  The application couldn’t have been anonymouse, no matter how embarrassing the subject might have been if the study had produced no results.

Speaking as a biologist, though, this remains an interesting piece of work – although I hasten to note that I’ve never had that difficulty attributed to one man in five, although, now that I’m in my sixties, I feel the need rather less often than when I was nineteen (which need probably explains my first marriage.)

As always, there’s a catch:

“These new approaches will require rigorous preclinical and clinical testing to translate observations made in transgenic mice into therapies that are safe and effective in men,” Ryu and Koh concluded.

So, don’t hold your breath, men – or anything else, just yet.

So, with that on my mind – or perhaps not – I’m off to another morning at CPAC, which will probably prove, well, not as stimulating as Mrs. Animal, but interesting all the same.  (And, as noted, I’m not nineteen anymore.)  My goal is, as was the last couple of days, to hobnob with other media types, maybe ask some political figures some uncomfortable questions, make myself a goddamned nuisance, and generally afflict the comfortable. Stay tuned.

Animal’s Red Thursday News

CCPAC is… interesting.  More on that in a regular post next week. But today, now today will be interesting for a different reason; this afternoon, I’ll be going with some colleagues out to Arlington to see a wreath being laid on the Tomb of the Unknown.  I’ve seen it on television, and our second daughter, during her middle-school class trip to DC, was one of two kids selected to place a similar wreath, which made us very proud.  This time I get to see it in person, and I predict a moving experience; I’m looking forward to it.

With that to look forward to, let’s move on to the links!

Continue reading Animal’s Red Thursday News

Animal’s Hump Day News

Happy Hump Day!

It’s CPAC week! In a short while, I have to catch a plane to DC, and I’ll arrive on site this afternoon, eastern time. Today is the first day, with little going on except check-in and badge pickup; it’s exciting, for me, because this is my first such event as a credentialed member of the media – I hasten to note, the new, alternative media, not the legacy media.  I’m anticipating a very interesting few days ahead.

Now then…

Continue reading Animal’s Hump Day News

Animal’s Daily Tiny Pairs News

Before we get started on this… topic, check out the latest installment of Barrett’s Privateers – Plague Ship over at Glibertarians!

Now then: It seems that, besides their huge body size, gorillas have really small testicles – and so do humans.  Wow.  Just… wow.

Is there anything more quintessentially masculine than a silverback gorilla? Broad and barrel-chested, with sculpted arms and legs as thick as tree trunks, these adult males are imposing sights. But a quick glance between their legs greatly diminishes the awe…

That’s because male gorilla testicles weigh a mere 30 to 35 grams, positively puny compared to their hulking 350-pound frames (159kg). And their erect members flex just two and a half inches.

At less than half the body weight of gorillas, chimpanzees sport testicles weighing five times more! And the chimp penis can be as long as an average human’s (a little over five inches).

So where do human men stack up in this “pissing” battle between primate cousins? Much closer to gorillas. The testicles of adult men tip the scales at about 20 grams. Relative to body weight, that’s three times larger than gorillas’ but five times smaller than chimpanzees’.

It turns out that this might be due to monogamy – or, at least, serial monogamy – which is traditional for humans.

Over humans’ evolutionary history, we have tended to practice either polygyny (like gorillas) or monogamy. In both mating styles, reproductive competition takes place outside the body rather than inside, meaning that males don’t need the sort of sexual machinery seen amongst chimpanzees.

I’m not sure what to do with this information.

All I will say about this story is this:  There are only two people I need to keep happy with my manly bits.  I’m one of them.  My own dear Mrs. Animal is the other.  And neither of us is complaining.  And while I may not have the testicular capacity of a chimp, at least I have (marginally) better table manners and social skills.

Science is fun.  Examining our closest relatives is interesting.  Sometimes, though, such an examination can be a little… (forgive me) nuts.

Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks as always to Pirate’s Cove, The Other McCain, Flappr, The Daley Gator, Whores and Ale, and Bacon Time for the Rule Five links!

This just in: Princess Liawatha Warren wants to file your income tax. No, thanks.

So what? It’s Congress, charged with writing tax code, that has spent decades making filing both difficult and time-consuming. TurboTax only exists because Congress has created a byzantine code. Moreover, tax preparation outfits are lobbying to oppose the federal government using taxpayer dollars to put them out of business. If TurboTax were lobbying against flattening or simplifying our tax code, I would be appalled myself. In this case, they’re lobbying against the efforts of a deranged apparatchik to nationalize another industry.

Warren not only wants the government to write tax code, enforce tax code, and withdraw taxes from your paycheck, she wants to file your taxes, as well. It is a guarantee that any government program created to “prepare” taxes would evolve into a government program that cuts the citizen out of the process completely. Our withholding system is bad enough. We don’t need salaried workers even more disconnected from the price of government.

I wouldn’t trust Fauxcohantas to run a latrine detail, much less come up with a scheme by which the Imperial government decides my tax burden – to hell with that idea.

But this brings up another idea (and one I’ve advocated for many years): Why do we even keep this wasteful, expensive, labyrinthian taxation system?  Why not a consumption tax?  Tax consumption at the retail level – only at the retail level – not production, and not only is it simpler, not only do the taxpayers see much more directly what government costs, but this also captures all of the underground economy. Drug dealers buy cars, illegal aliens paid under the table buy clothes and shoes – this would capture all of that.

There’s also this: Princess Liawatha is one of the dumbest people to ever sit in Congress. Taking the opposite tack to anything she suggests is probably a good idea.

Rule Five Lining Up Another Shot Friday

It’s beginning to look a lot like Her Imperial Majesty Hillary I, First of That Name, Dowager-Empress of Chappaqua, is lining up for another shot at what she feels is her rightful place – the Imperial Mansion.

Former First Lady Hillary Clinton said she believes President Biden’s age is a “legitimate” campaign issue even as the commander-in-chief is under fire over a damning special counsel’s report accusing him of being senile.

“I talked to people in the White House all the time, and you know, they know it’s an issue, but as I like to say, ‘look, it’s a legitimate issue,’” Clinton told MSNBC’s Alex Wagner earlier this week. “It’s a legitimate issue for [ex-President Donald] Trump who’s only three years younger, right? So it’s an issue.”

The former Democrat presidential nominee and secretary of state also said during Wednesday’s interview that it might be hard for Biden and Trump to connect with younger voters, the president should highlight his background as an “experienced” leader.

Calling Joe Biden an “experienced” leader is a canard of the first order; one might point out President Biden’s many years in government, but there’s a big difference between thirty years of experience and one year of experience repeated thirty times.  Old Joe falls into that latter category.

Here’s the onion:

Clinton said that will age might be an issue it’s more important that voters elect the best candidate – and that she’s all in on Biden.

“I’m for Joe Biden for reelection on the merits because I think he’s done a really good job as president,” Clinton said. “So, I think he should continue to get out and campaign. He’s been campaigning pretty vigorously across the country.

Yeah, right.

At this point, following the release of the disastrous Hur report, I’m placing about one in three odds that the VP and the Cabinet will 25th Amendment Joe Biden into low-earth orbit, which places the execrable Kamala Harris at the Resolute Desk – and that, I bet, is where Her Imperial Majesty sees her main chance.  Nobody thinks Harris, who I remind you came (hah) to political prominence atop Willie Brown’s penis, could win an election against a potted plant.

Enter, stage right, Her Imperial Majesty, to save the day!  Finally, She will get her due, and you peasants will shut up and like it!

Look, this is a person who has a sense of entitlement the size of the Virgo Supercluster, who rivals the Biden Crime Family in corruption, and who has proven she is more than willing to bend or outright break the rules in her lust for power.

One of the greatest things that Donald Trump ever accomplished was to prevent Her Imperial Majesty from ever gaining control of those levers of power.  I remember two things about that election:

  1. The pollsters getting it so horribly wrong. On election night, loyal sidekick Rat and I were in elk camp, already having voted in Colorado’s idiotic mail-in voting scheme.  I went to sleep that night depressed. Neither Mrs. Animnal nor yr. obdt. thought the Republic would survive a Hillary Clinton presidency.  The next morning I woke up, went to warm up my pickup, turned on the satellite radio, and as Rat opened his door to climb in, I turned to him, and blurted “Holy shit! He pulled it off!”
  2. Because of that, Mrs. A and I had already started accelerated plans to move out of the lower 48, fearing what might develop. Fortunately the Trump presidency bought us some time, and we probably ended up better off for it.

Her Imperial Majesty won’t stop scrabbling for power until she shuffles off the mortal coil.  If unsuccessful this time, just watch – she’ll try again, and again, in one way or another.  It’s in her wretched, spiteful, corrupt nature.