Animal’s Hump Day News

Happy Hump Day!

Heading out to catch a plane here in a bit, so here are some tidbits from the news, along with a few pithy comments.

Her Imperial Majesty, Dowager Empress of Chappaqua Hillary I, has some opinions on the Mueller report.  She does now?  What might they be, do you suppose?  Just kidding, I don’t give a fuck.

Loony-tunes couple claims to live on “the energy of the universe.”  Hint:  They’re lying.

Our own Colorado is in the forefront of beer technology.  Not surprising, the state was known for Coors (ugh) before microbrews were a thing.  Coors may be a sex-in-a-canoe beer, but it got the state started on brewing.

You know what?  I’d have a beer.

Kamala Harris wants to impose gun control by Imperial decree, but to let imprisoned convicts vote.  Pump the brakes, there,  Kamala.

NY Mayor De Blasio wants to ban skyscrapers.  It’s unclear what he intends to do about, you know, the entire Manhattan skyline.

Going to San Francisco?  Now you can get a poop map, to help you avoid the liberal (hah) amounts of human feces littering the streets of what was once one of the world’s great cities but now is an actual shithole.

Kamala Harris again; now she’s campaigning for Mike Pence for President.  Have any of these people figured out that, if by some strange confluence of events they are actually able to oust President Trump, that it wouldn’t somehow magically make Her Royal Highness President, but rather Mike Pence?  Mike Pence, who holds pretty much all the same policy positions as President Trump but who is much more measured, more congenial, more on-message, and who is generally regarded as one of the nicest men in politics?

As for trying to impeach a sitting President being a good campaign move – Newt Gingrich would like a word.

Daffy old Socialist from Vermont:  “Socialism will give us a better country!”  Woman whose family fled the (socialist) Soviet Union:  “You’re an idiot.”

On that note, we return you to your Wednesday, already in progress.