Thanks to our blogger pals over at The Daley Gator for the link!

In our ever-increasingly technological age, want to know what’s coming next?  Smart toilets.  Yes, really.  Excerpt:

AI that screens out spam and recognizes your mom’s face is so 2017. Get ready for smart toilets that’ll scan your poop using artificial intelligence to save you a trip to the doctor.

That’s what Sanjay Mehrotra, chief executive of memory chipmaker Micron Technology, expects as AI spreads to yet another corner of our lives.

“Medicine is going toward precision medicine and precision health,” Mehrotra said at the Techonomy 2018 conference in Half Moon Bay on the Pacific coastline south of San Francisco. “Imagine smart toilets in the future that will be analyzing human waste in real time every day. You don’t need to be going to visit a physician every six months. If any sign of disease starts showing up, you’ll be able to catch it much faster because of urine analysis and stool analysis.”

OK, I have a question:  How long do you suppose it will be before some statist fuckwit gets the bright idea to propose that all smart-toilets be networked into a monitoring system?  Say you don’t eat enough fiber one week, or the potty informs Nanny that you binged on an entire gallon of ice cream last Friday night.  What then?  Will the health police start monitoring your output, the better to control your intake?

Well, that’s probably pretty unlikely.  But this really seems like a solution in search of a problem.  Instead of messing with smart toilets, how about just lifting the damn one-gallon flush regulation so we can get a loo that will actually flush with some force?  Back in the day we had toilets that would flush a cinder block.  Those damn things flushed with some force.

Ah, those were the days.