Animal’s Daily Zimbabwe News

A military coup in Zimbabwe appears to have (at least temporarily) ousted thug-dictator Robert Mugabe.  Excerpt:

Zimbabwe’s military said early Wednesday that it had taken custody of President Robert Mugabe, the world’s oldest head of state and one of Africa’s longest-serving leaders, in what increasingly appeared to be a military takeover in the southern African nation.

After apparently seizing the state broadcaster, ZBC, two uniformed officers said in a short predawn announcement that “the situation in our country has moved to another level.” While denying that the military had seized power, they said that Mr. Mugabe and his family “are safe and sound, and their security is guaranteed.”

“We are only targeting criminals around him who are committing crimes that are causing social and economic suffering in the country in order to bring them to justice,” said the main speaker, who was identified as Maj. Gen. S. B. Moyo, the army’s chief of staff.

General Moyo — who was not widely known to the public but who was considered close to the commander of the Zimbabwe Defense Forces, Gen. Constantine Chiwenga — warned that “any provocation will be met with an appropriate response.”

Around 6 a.m. on Wednesday, taxis were running on the main roads leading to central Harare and people seemed to be making their way to work. Some soldiers could be seen on the main roads but were not stopping commuters.

After the short announcement, commercials on farming and corn seeds appeared on the state broadcaster. There was no further clarification of the whereabouts or status of Mr. Mugabe, 93, who is the only leader his nation has known since independence in 1980.

I can only say this:  It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy, and let’s hope it’s permanent.  Things in Zimbabwe could hardly get any worse.

Out on a limb.

The country has a 90% unemployment rate.  The currency isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.  And in the not quite forty years since he seized control, Zimbabwe has gone from southern Africa’s breadbasket to an absolute shithole with half the population starving.

This is your nation on dictatorship, True Believers.