Before we start, check out the ending of my current series over at Glibertarians! If you haven’t, read the whole series.
A fellow veteran and buddy of mine directed my attention to the other day to this, the veggie omelet MRE, which apparently came out after my time, but that looks… disgusting. Excerpt:
A newly declassified report alleges that the infamous vegetable and cheese omelet MRE was not accidentally spawned in a wet market, but was intentionally created in a laboratory to advance “gain-of-function” research into the development of even shittier field rations.
The report from the United States Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases rejects the long-accepted wet-market theory, and instead concludes that the dreaded “vomelet,” which has spawned tens of thousands of disability claims, was first developed at the Combat Capabilities Development Command Soldier Center, in Natick, Mass.
“Conventional wisdom from the CDC, WHO and other respected health entities have traced the origin of the vegetable omelet MRE to recombinant DNA from a farmer’s market frequented by the strippers who work along Victory Drive outside Fort Benning,” the USAMRIID paper’s unnamed authors wrote. “However, it now appears that the omelet was, in fact, created by our very own Natick Army Labs to spur breakthroughs into even more MRE menus that look and taste like someone took a dump in a pouch.”
All I can say is, yuck.
I never saw one of these; as I said, I think they came along after my time. I did hang around long enough to see some of the newer packs with the little Tabasco bottles in them, which made some of the entrees… edible. Sort of.
It’s important to note that the Chicken Ala King wasn’t terrible, and the chocolate fudge cookies that came in some packs were good enough to be pretty valuable trade items. But for the most part… Well, MREs would keep you alive, but you would have to find your happiness someplace else.
Hopefully the Army is improving these damn things. But, the Army being the Army – somewhat – I’m skeptical.
