Animal’s Daily Pet Peeves

Relaxed BearA few random peeves:

People who conclude every written sentence with “LOL” should be beaten to death with their keyboards.

People who chew with their mouths open in public should be force-fed syrup of ipecac, so they know how everyone around them feels.

Caps lock.   Writing in all caps isn’t emphatic; it just makes you look like an idiot.

Business people (or anyone else) who say they want “110%.”  You can’t give more than 100%, by definition.

Improper use of “decimate.”  “Decimate” means “to reduce by ten percent.”  If we, as the President claims, “decimate” Al Qaeda, we have reduced them in number by ten percent.  That’s not very good.  In fact, it sucks.

Yes-YOU-bearAnyone who brings an infant or toddler to a movie and sits there in the theater while the kid cries loudly or otherwise raises hell, should have someone sneak in their bedroom late at night and blow a boat horn in their ear.

I’m frequently tempted to carry a string of firecrackers.  Why?  For people who come to the bottom of an escalator, stop and stand there looking around.  A string of Black Cats going off around their feet will get their dead asses moving.

Slow people in general.  A couple of years back I was buzzing through the Philly airport with a tight connection, and had to go to another concourse across the airport.  While passing through the terminal I passed a group of college-age kids who were also walking.

Excellent BearI passed them.  Me, a middle-aged man with a backpack full of paper and electronics passed a bunch of college kids.  Unencumbered college kids.

Who were walking on a goddamn moving walkaway while I was walking on the corridor beside it.

Do these kids have no damn sense of purpose whatsoever?