Animal’s Daily Macroglossia News

Before I get into this mouthful of a story, check out the latest chapter of Barrett’s Privateers – Plague Ship over at Glibertarians!

Now then: I know, I know – you’re all wondering what the hell Macroglossia is.  Well, here.

Macroglossia, sometimes called giant tongue or enlarged tongue, is a rare condition that typically affects more children than adults. Most people have macroglossia because they have other conditions, such as Beckwith-Wiedemann syndrome or Down syndrome. Treatment for macroglossia varies depending on the underlying cause.

Now that we have that definition, an Oregon woman just won a Guinness World Record for the greatest tongue circumference. Yes, really.

Image from article.

An Oregon woman earned a Guinness World Record for her unusually sized tongue, which has a circumference of 5.21 inches.

Portland resident Jenny DuVander said she was reading the 2023 Guinness Book of World Records with her son when she saw there was a category for largest tongue circumference.

DuVander said she always knew she had a large tongue, and after measuring it at home she suspected it might be record-breaking.

Her dentist performed the official measurement by wrapping dental floss around her tongue and then measuring the length of the floss.

She officially earned the record with a 5.21-inch circumference.

Now that’s a hell of a thing to put on your online dating profile.

Jenny DuVander is, of course, a flautist.  I’m not sure why that’s not surprising, but it’s not.

Look, for once I’m somewhat at a loss for words.  It’s impossible to comment on this without indulging my inner 12-year-old.  One has to wonder, though, if Jenny DuVander has ever entered a tongue-twister competition and, if so, the judges gave her a tough sentence; it’s hard to say.  But a claim like this, to be sure, has some teeth in it now that it’s confirmed by the Guinness people.

That’s all.  Try the veal.  Don’t forget to tip your waitress.