Animal’s Daily Bat-Guano Crazy News

I know I’ve discussed this before, but here’s the latest from crazy town:  Gwyneth Paltrow is waaaaay out on the end of the hot-crazy curve.  Definitely in NO GO territory.  Excerpt:

Down the hatch, coffee can jumpstart a day. But, according to dubious advice from Gwyneth Paltrow’s posh lifestyle and e-commerce site, Goop, the popular brew can also kick off a whole year—when taken up the bum.

Yes, Goop suggests that a coffee enema is a “clutch” way to “supercharge” your “annual goop detox” and start the year in tip-top health. In its latest guide for “deep detoxification,” the Goop team recommends a device called an “Implant O’Rama” for squirting coffee up your keister at home. The product, sold by Implant O’Rama LLC for a bargain $135, is merely a glass bottle with silicone tubing attached.

First things first, as we’ve noted before, there’s no need to “detox”—unless you have kidney or liver failure, and/or have been poisoned recently. When in good working order, your body naturally clears any toxins you might encounter. And there’s no evidence that any DIY detoxing cleanses or diets improve health. That said, there’s plenty of evidence that coffee enemas and colon cleanses in general can cause harm.

Never mind squirting coffee up your ass.  The bullshit gets deeper than that – far, far deeper.  Here’s the best bit of the linked article:  Scroll down to the bottom and go through the photo gallery of “Other ways Goop recommends detoxing.”  This gallery includes such gems as “UMA Pure Calm Wellness Oil,” An $84 dollar water bottle to infuse your water with “positive energy” from a crystal, an $85 “Shaman Medicine Bag” with “magically charged stones,” and a $68 “Detox Body Oil.”

Ring any bells, fans of American frontier history?

While it’s amazing that anyone stupid enough to buy any of this horseshit could possibly have enough brain power to maintain autonomous body functions, it’s even more amazing that Ms. Paltrow has the chutzpah to take advantage of drooling morons – her only possible target market – by charging such prices for absolute crap.

Is she an idiot, or just a con artist?  Thoughts?