Are you a coffee drinker? If so, I’ve got one word for you: Folgers. Because Starbucks, predictably, ain’t gonna be a place you want to hang out any more. Excerpt:
In an effort rehab their image, Starbucks Corp. announced they would no longer use old guidelines that a person present in the building or wanting to use their bathroom must purchase an item, according to the Wall Street Journal:
“On Saturday, the company told its employees in a letter that “any person who enters our spaces, including patios, cafes and restrooms, regardless of whether they make a purchase, is considered a customer.”
Under the new policy, when a customer is “behaving in a disruptive manner,” employees should follow the company’s procedure on handling disruptive guests, which will contain some new guidance, a spokesman said. Starbucks didn’t say what that procedure entails or define what constitutes disruptive behavior. If a situation presents an immediate danger or threat to employee or customer safety, Starbucks employees should call 911, the company said.
Having just spent a year in the Bay Area, I can product what’s going to happen in walk-in Starbucks stores in the major cities: They will turn into free campsites for every smelly bum in the area, and their restrooms will become shit-caked, disease-ridden hellholes.
Many, many years ago, I worked night shift at a 7-11 for a while to make ends meet. I was young, and figured any job was better than no job. The store manager had a policy: The restroom was closed to the public from 10PM to 6AM, unless it was a cop that asked to use it (7-11 in those years actively courted cops to hang around; it was policy that we gave them free coffee, too.)
After one night when the enormous blowpig who delivered newspapers to the store begged me to let him use the facility, I learned why that policy was in place. That fat asshole literally left the place a shithole; he managed somehow to get stinky crap all over the toilet seat and even the floor.
When I read Starbucks’ new policy, I remembered that night and the unpleasant clean-up job that followed. And the first thought that came to mind was this: Coming soon, to a Starbucks near you.
Stupid is as stupid does. This new “policy” will cost Starbucks customers and, maybe, the company. And they will have had it coming.