Are you a coffee drinker?  If so, I’ve got one word for you:  Folgers.  Because Starbucks, predictably, ain’t gonna be a place you want to hang out any more.  Excerpt:

In an effort rehab their image, Starbucks Corp. announced they would no longer use old guidelines that a person present in the building or wanting to use their bathroom must purchase an item, according to the Wall Street Journal:

“On Saturday, the company told its employees in a letter that “any person who enters our spaces, including patios, cafes and restrooms, regardless of whether they make a purchase, is considered a customer.”

Under the new policy, when a customer is “behaving in a disruptive manner,” employees should follow the company’s procedure on handling disruptive guests, which will contain some new guidance, a spokesman said. Starbucks didn’t say what that procedure entails or define what constitutes disruptive behavior. If a situation presents an immediate danger or threat to employee or customer safety, Starbucks employees should call 911, the company said.

Having just spent a year in the Bay Area, I can product what’s going to happen in walk-in Starbucks stores in the major cities:  They will turn into free campsites for every smelly bum in the area, and their restrooms will become shit-caked, disease-ridden hellholes.

Many, many years ago, I worked night shift at a 7-11 for a while to make ends meet.  I was young, and figured any job was better than no job.  The store manager had a policy:  The restroom was closed to the public from 10PM to 6AM, unless it was a cop that asked to use it (7-11 in those years actively courted cops to hang around; it was policy that we gave them free coffee, too.)

After one night when the enormous blowpig who delivered newspapers to the store begged me to let him use the facility, I learned why that policy was in place.  That fat asshole literally left the place a shithole; he managed somehow to get stinky crap all over the toilet seat and even the floor.

When I read Starbucks’ new policy, I remembered that night and the unpleasant clean-up job that followed.  And the first thought that came to mind was this:  Coming soon, to a Starbucks near you.

Stupid is as stupid does.  This new “policy” will cost Starbucks customers and, maybe, the company.  And they will have had it coming.