It's too cold to be out here, especially at this hour. The sun ain't even up yet, why are we? Five in the morning and I'm not in bed, I'm crouched in some stupid forest so I can watch my Dad and lunatic Uncle blow away innocent animals. Look at him! Dad looks like he thinks he's on safari. I can just see him, with his hair and mustache all white, bragging about things he's killed; "Yes, the tiger is a nice prize, but I'm especially proud of this deer I bagged in the Jungles of Ohio." In a stuffy voice, of course. one that sounds like he has to go to the bathroom, but is too classy to actually shit. It's like the time he took me horse riding, the way he strutted around the stables getting in the real cowboys' way like he wanted to be John Wayne organizing a posse or something. He's always dragging me along on these things, like a fifteen year old guy ain't got anything to do. I got things to do, like Ellen. With me up here in the boontillies for two weeks she's probably OWWW! What the hell'd he elbow me for? Oh, a squirrel. Big thrill Dad, we have those back home. Uncle Ralph's dipping into his "magic potion" again. His son Billy and I found out last year what the magic was. Blackberry brandy laced with coffee. I knew when to quit, but Billy got so wasted he passed out in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. He was sitting next to Great-grandma when he just dropped over on the floor, and she said if he was that sleepy he should get up to bed. He really got a whipping that time. Dad didn't whip me, though. I wonder why not; he must have known I'd had some too, he must've smelled it. I guess he must've figured I was smart enough not to get plastered so I was doin' all right. Ralph whips his kids for everything. One time he even whipped Debby for coming home late and she's almost eighteen.

    I think Billy's gonna hit him back one day. I wouldn't do that for anything, man. Uncle Ralph is big. There's a story at the fibreglass factory where he works about how one of the delivery trucks, one of the big ones, tipped over making a corner and Ralph and two other guys put it back. No way would I piss off Uncle Ralph. I wonder if they'd notice if I closed my eyes for a second or two...  

 Somebody must be getting up, I can hear somebody crunching the forest junk on the ground. Good, I can stretch, finally. That's better, squatting on the ground for three hours, feels good to stand up JESUS! Look at those deer running away! They're HUGE! Why didn't Ralph blast 'em, that's what we're out here for ain't it? He's just watching 'em go. Uhoh, now he's glaring at me!

     "What the Hell you stand up for, boy? You scared them deer off 'fore Ah could even aim! You got shite fer brains?"

     "Take it easy, Ralph, he probably didn't know they were there. We're not as used to this as you are."

     "Yeah, well that's the last time he comes huntin' with me, Fred. At's all Ah gotta say. Yor mah brudder, but Ah don' gotta take yor boy."

     Whew. I got outta that one alive. Uncle Ralph is stomping off towards the road like somebody wrecked his car or something. Dad's following him, slower though. He's probably pissed too. We get in the car to drive home and they both sit in the front seat like I was a leper or something. Dad only turns around once and it don't look like he's angry, more like he's sad. Like he's disappointed.