Category Archives: KooKoo

Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks as always to Pirate’s Cove for the Rule Five links!

Programming note:  This coming Friday Mrs. A and yr. obdt. will be heading to Missouri for a few days of sun, relaxation, fishing and boating at Lake of the Ozarks; so next week on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday there will be some fulsome totty placeholders.  Regular news posts will resume on Thursday the 27th, probably with some scenery from that event.

Moving on:  The descent of the once-Great Britain continues apace; now British police are fighting domestic violence by handing out blunt-tipped knives, which will presumably make domestic abusers less stabby.  Excerpt:

The latest example of how far the UK has fallen? It’s handing out blunted knives to the victims of domestic abuse to reduce stabbings.

Victims of domestic violence will have their kitchen knives replaced with blunt utensils to prevent their partners attacking them in their own home.

Nottinghamshire Police are piloting the scheme where around 100 ‘no point’ knives will be handed to victims who have either been threatened or attacked with a knife.

Police are concerned about the high level of knife-related incidents that happen in the home, and are hoping the new scheme has the potential to save lives.

Domestic violence knife crime makes up more than 17 percent of incidents reported to Nottinghamshire Police.

In 2018/19, out of 900 reports of knife crime, 159 were related to domestic violence.

Superintendent Matt McFarlane, the new knife crime strategy manager for Nottinghamshire Police, who is overseeing the scheme, said: “We do see a fair amount of knife related incidents in domestic abuse not just on the streets.

Wow.

I mean, it’s almost like banning guns did nothing to reduce violence. Who would have thought?

Oh, wait, I did. So did a ton of other people.

Instead, bad people shifted over to a different tool to commit acts of violence. Now the British police are pushing these “knives” onto people to use instead. All I see are the scissors we buy for little children to use at school.

Oh, Britain, what happened to you?  This is the land that gave us Jack Churchill, W.D.M. Bell, Horatio Nelson and T.E. Lawrence.  Now you’re fighting crime by reducing your citizens subjects to the level of kindergartners.

What’s next?  Screwdrivers?  Cricket bats?  Pointed sticks?  Bananas?

Meanwhile, Britain’s crime rate creeps ever upwards.

This, True Believers, is what you see in a nanny state run amok.  And hang on to your hats, because there are plenty of pols who would put the same kind of insanity in place here.

Animal’s Daily Former Vegan News

Make sure to check out Part Five of my History of Bolt Guns series over at Glibertarians!

A nut from Finland has become marginally less nutty.  She still has a long ways to go.  Excerpt:

Early last year, Virpi Mikkonen was alarmed by the appearance of a rash on her face.

There were other problems: a bout of flu that was hard to shift; crumbling nails; feeling low; and, most worrying, her periods stopped. A blood test revealed her follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) levels had sky-rocketed to the level at which women hit the menopause. Virpi was 37 and having hot flushes.

‘I thought, what’s wrong with me? I am healthy, I exercise,’ Virpi says. ‘I was really scared.’

At the time, Virpi believed herself to be eating the healthiest of all diets: gluten-free, grain-free, dairy-free, meat-free, refined sugar-free. And what’s more, she’d built a career inspiring others to eat it, too.

But then this happened:

‘I felt I had run out of fuel, totally,’ she says. ‘I was empty.’ She is now particularly fond of bone broth, a bone stock she has as a hot drink or adds to stews and soups. She’s also eating eggs, which is a major departure because she used to refer to them as ‘miscarriages of chickens’.

The effects have been dramatic. ‘It’s amazing. I feel energetic, motivated. I’m sleeping better, the hot flushes and aching in my body have stopped.’ Best of all, her periods have returned. She was so relieved she danced round her flat. ‘I thought, OK, now I am back on track.’

Here’s the funny bit:

Virpi has yet to tell her followers the whole story, though recently posted about yin deficiency and ‘burn-out’. Her reluctance is more out of wanting to find the right time to bare her heart than fear of receiving irate messages, but she admits: ‘Vegans can be really judgmental.’

First up:  There’s no such thing as “yin deficiency.”  That’s utter horseshit, and if you read the entire article – do NOT read the comments if you value your blood pressure – you’ll see she believes in all manner of New Age-y horseshit.

But she’s dead right about “vegans” being judgemental.  If she hasn’t received outright threats on her life or well-being, I’d be pretty damn surprised.  The “ethical vegan” community contains plenty of folks who are not just judgemental, they’re outright fanatics.  Their worst examples are the nuts of the so-called Animal Liberation Front, who have been classed as a domestic terror group.  Fortunately there aren’t very many of them.

Were I to give Ms. Mikkonen any advice, it would be “eat whatever you see fit and shut up about it.”  But apparently she’s making a good living peddling New Age-y horseshit.  And, presumably, it’s worth whatever heat she’s taking for being a “vegan” apostate.

Animal’s Daily Stupid Idea #2,394,291 News

Kamala Harris has a stupid idea.  In other news, the sky is blue, water is wet, and Bernie Sanders has a bad haircut.  Excerpt:

Is there really a significant gap between what men and women earn? Democratic presidential candidate Senator Kamala Harris thinks so and she has a plan to fix it.

Politico:

Harris’ plan, which broadly mandates that companies prove they aren’t discriminating against women, proposes to fine corporations that don’t close their pay gaps between women and men — with the proceeds going toward building out universal paid family and medical leave.

Several studies have shown that women earn less than men, with the gap larger for Latinas and black women. Harris previewed the plan at a Sunday rally in Los Angeles, taking aim at the pay gap. “This has got to end!” she said.

The problems with this proposal begin with definitions. What is “equal pay” anyway? Even more problematic, what defines “equal pay for equal work”?

Government tries to assign numerical values to specific jobs to measure gender discrimination. But each company is different, and trying to use numbers to define value would appear to be a futile undertaking.

This isn’t stopping Harris, who wants to overhaul anti-discrimination laws and turn the system into a cash cow to fund pet Democratic social programs, including universal paid family and medical leave:

Companies would be fined 1 percent of their average daily profits for every 1 percent of wage gap during the last fiscal year, after accounting for differences in job titles, experience and performance. It would generate an estimated $180 billion over a decade.

Here’s problem number A:  When you normalize the data for payroll stats – somethings pols don’t know how to do – the “wage gap” disappears.  See also here.  And here.  And here.

But here’s the funniest bit:  The woman who is proposing this lunacy, which would create a huge Imperial bureaucracy to investigate the payrolls of every existing American business and place yet another staggering regulatory burden on the producers in our economy – the woman who is engaging in the biggest act of pandering since Caligula courted the equine vote by appointing his horse as Consul – first achieved political prominence in (where else?) California by the expedient of riding there on Willie Brown’s penis.

And she’s proposing herself as the champion of young women?  As a role model?  Don’t make me laugh.

Animal’s Daily Flat Earth Cruise News

Thanks as always to The Other McCain for the Rule Five links.  Also, go read the latest in my History of Lever Guns series over at Glibertarians, and if you haven’t yet, check out all my Glibs articles here.

With all that said:  I should have covered this yesterday, because these are some April fools if ever there were some.  Excerpts, with my comments:

Organizers of an annual conference that brings together people who believe that the Earth is flat are planning a cruise to the purported edge of the planet. They’re looking for the ice wall that holds back the oceans.

I predict they’ll be disappointed.

The journey will take place in 2020, the Flat Earth International Conference (FEIC) recently announced on its website. The goal? To test so-called flat-Earthers’ assertion that Earth is a flattened disk surrounded at its edge by a towering wall of ice.

So, if they find no such wall of ice but instead a great southern continent, will they admit that they have been mistaken all this time?  Or will they come up with another bullshit conspiracy “theory?”  I think we already know that answer.

Details about the event, including the dates, are forthcoming, according to the FEIC, which calls the cruise “the biggest, boldest adventure yet.” However, it’s worth noting that nautical maps and navigation technologies such as global positioning systems (GPS) work as they do because the Earth is … a globe. [7 Ways to Prove the Earth Is Round]

It won’t be a big adventure.  It won’t be a bold adventure.  If these people are truly serious about this, which is difficult to credit, this is the most foolish of fool’s errands.  This is more ridiculous than the Green New Deal, more ridiculous than a soup sandwich.

Believers in a flat Earth argue that images showing a curved horizon are fake and that photos of a round Earth from space are part of a vast conspiracy perpetrated by NASA and other space agencies to hide Earth’s flatness. These and other flat-Earth assertions appear on the website of the Flat Earth Society (FES), allegedly the world’s oldest official flat Earth organization, dating to the early 1800s.

Back when people believed in phrenology and humours, of which nitwittery the Flat Earth belief is of a kind.

However, the ancient Greeks demonstrated that Earth was a sphere more than 2,000 years ago, and the gravity that keeps everything on the planet from flying off into space could exist only on a spherical world.

More like 2,200 years, actually.  Eratosthenes of Cyrene calculated the circumference of the Earth pretty accurately around 245 BC.

Honestly these screwballs are really pretty funny.  While it’s hard to take them seriously, they certainly do appear to take themselves so; they’re as serious as the people who claim socialism is a workable economic system, evidence from such paradises as Venezuela, Cuba and North Korea notwithstanding.

Flat Earthers, indeed.  Well, we can always use more nitwits to point and laugh at.

Animal’s Daily Master Troll News

By now you’ve all heard about the laughable Green New Deal put forth by New York Congresscritter Alexandra Occasional Cortex.  Even though this piece of crap looks like it was strung together by a third-grade candidate for Student Council, Senate Majority Leader McConnell wants to bring it up for a vote in the Senate.

Why?  Because it’s a masterpiece of trolling.  I applaud this!  Excerpt:

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell says he plans a floor vote on the Green New Deal resolution proposed by Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and endorsed by many congressional Democrats. McConnell wants Senate Democrats to go on record on this radical proposal. He especially wants those running for president and those who may face tough reelection campaigns in 2020 to do so.

Would such a vote be a stunt? You could call it that, but you could also use the same word to describe a great many votes in both chambers.

The Green New Deal is a big deal, potentially. I see no reason why the Senate shouldn’t express its view of the idea.

Ocasio-Cortez responded to McConnell by saying, in effect, bring it on. She stated:

[McConnell] is trying to bully the party and he’s banking on people not being courageous. I think people should call his bluff.

When McConnell banks on something, he usually has good reason to. This seems like a case-in-point.

The response by Congresswoman Crazy Eyes was priceless, amounting to “how dare you bring up the resolution I sponsored for an actual vote!”

Trolling this may be and trolling it is, but McConnell, no newcomer to these kinds of games, has a purpose beyond just the lulz.  He’s going to make every member of the Senate stand, vote and be counted, either for this atrocity or against it…

…including all the Senate Democrats who have or who are planning to declare as 2020 Presidential candidates.  Any, including those who have already expressed support, will have that support hung around their necks like a millstone in 2020.

Some folks are about to be reminded that this ain’t Mitch McConnell’s first rodeo.

Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks once again to Pirate’s Cove and The Other McCain for the Rule Five links – and be sure to read Part 5 of my revolver history over at Glibertarians.

Meanwhile, in Ireland, some nut decided to self-treat his back pain by injecting his own semen intravenously.  Yes, really.  Excerpts, with my comments:

In a new case study, Irish doctors report the baffling case of a 33-year-old man who injected his own semen intravenously for a year and a half, a self-developed “cure” intended to treat his chronic back pain. It does not appear to have worked.

No shit.

After reportedly injecting semen into his arm every month for 18 months, the man finally sought medical attention—but not for his arm. The patient instead complained of “severe, sudden onset lower pack pain,” having lifted a “heavy steel object” three days beforehand. During his checkup, the doctor found a patch of red swelling on his right forearm, after which the man admitted he’d been injecting himself with his own semen using a hypodermic needle he purchased online.

So, in what insane universe does this seem like a good idea?  Is there some weird cult, subculture or pseudo-scientific quackery that advocates injecting semen to deal with chronic pain?  In what way does this Irish moron think this is going to deal with what sounds like a pinched nerve, a pulled muscle or at worst maybe some minor damage to his spine?

This time around, he had injected three “doses” of semen, entering both his blood vessels and his muscles.

If he was shooting for intravenous and hit intramuscular, then that’s an added data point proving that he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

While some might be tempted to speculate on his methods of obtaining and handling his own spooge prior to injection, I have to demur; that part of the process really doesn’t bear too much thinking about.  But I doubt concern over aseptic technique was one of the considerations, especially since he apparently repeatedly used a needle “he bought online.”

Apparently Spoogy McDipshit is going to survive this experience.  I suppose that’s a good thing, objectively, even though his history of decision making may well put him in candidacy for a Darwin Award at some point in the future.

Animal’s Daily Loony Shoes News

I like basics in footwear.  My favorite foot-housings are plain, unadorned Justin ropers; a pair costs a hundred bucks or so and can last twenty years.  The plain old roper boot (known as a Wellington in some parts) is 18th century technology, but there’s a good reason they haven’t changed much – and that’s because there’s no reason for them to change.  I put mine through rain, mud, snow, dust, rocks, all manner of stuff.   Clean them, apply some saddle soap and mink oil, and you’re good to go.  Simple and reliable.

That’s how footwear should be.  Simple and reliable.  So why do people have to complicate things?  Excerpt:

“Athletes will be able to update and evolve their shoes with upgrades, new features and services all through smartphone technology inside their footwear,” said Michael Donaghu, Nike’s vice president of innovation.

While Nike touts this shoe as a “mobile sports research lab on feet everywhere,” the shoe currently doesn’t provide any data, but the company said that will be coming.

“We are moving from fit to firmware,” said Donaghu.

Nike researchers said the Nike Adapt BB is the most tested shoe in its history. The company chose basketball as the first sport because of the demands basketball players put on their shoes with fast cuts and constant sprints.

Boston Celtics star Jayson Tatum has been the guinea pig secretly testing the Adapt behind the scenes. Tatum will wear the Adapt BB in the shoe’s professional debut Wednesday night when the Celtics play the Toronto Raptors. The shoe is available to customers beginning Feb. 17.

These damn things start at $350.  I could get a fair-middling pair of blue stingray cowboy boots for that, suitable for a Saturday night on the town, and I can tell you I consider that money far better spent.

Here’s my concern with high-tech shoes:  Shoes go on your feet, which are generally used for walking, running, hopping, jumping and other things that involve impact.  Further, those shoes are probably going to get muddy, wet, dirty in all sorts of ways.  And, sooner or later, the fancy smart-phone-adjustable gizmos are going to break, leaving you stuck with a really expensive pair of sneakers that you can no longer lace up.

This is a high-tech solution looking for a problem.  A First World problem.

 

Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks as always to Pirate’s Cove and The Other McCain for the Rule Five links – and check out my latest part in the “History of The Six-Gun” over at Glibertarians!  In fact, you should check the link to the right to read all my Glibertarians articles.

Meanwhile, California’s descent into lunacy continues apace.  Excerpt:

This is the state that told McDonalds they could no longer give away Happy Meal toys, all because a politician said it was hard for him to tell his children “No” as they drove by the Arches. (McDonalds instead charges for the toys, and they actually move MORE of them, while turning a larger profit as a result.) This is the state that recently criminalized restaurants serving drinks with plastic straws.

Now the next micro-managed policy is being forwarded. An assemblyman by the name of Phil Ting has latched on to the next big crisis to rock the Golden State, and we thank the stars he is there for the goodness of the residents.

All the elements are in place, from the fact-challenged statistics to the catchy rhyming hashtag!

And please, enough cannot be said about the shaming of the intern by posing on a stool as an anthropomorphic CVS receipt!

I have to agree on the mental and emotional abuse of the intern; that poor schmuck looks absolutely mortified.  And California residents will also feel mortified if this crap becomes law, another useless, feel-good measure intruding on how businesses conduct their affairs.  This will cost businesses more money to transition, once again jacking up the prices of consumer goods in the Golden Loony State, and making it harder on the margins for small businesses to compete.

Why the hell does anyone even attempt to do business in Californey any more, anyway?

Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks as always to Pirate’s Cove and The Other McCain for the Rule Five links!

Moving along:  I’ve often thought that there are certain levels of stupid that should be physically painful.  Here’s one.  Excerpts, with my comments:

Rick Hummer, an emcee at a flat Earth conference in Denver, looked into a sea of people and asked them to repeat three words.

“I’m not ashamed,” Hummer said.

The crowd eagerly responded.

“I’m not ashamed of ridicule,” they chanted. “I’m not ashamed of mockery. I’m not ashamed of insults.”

They should be ashamed.  They should be embarrassed.  I’m sure their families are.

After Hummell led his call-and-response, he introduced Rob Skiba. A popular YouTube character in the flat Earth community, Skiba pulled up a PowerPoint called “Debunking Flat Earth 101.” Then he whipped out a white lab coat.

“I have no academic credentials,” he said. “But I do have a cloak of credibility.”

If you didn’t burst out laughing after reading that, you have more self-control than I.

Charles Whitehead, who traveled from New Jersey, thought the theory was ridiculous when he heard it in 2016.

Then he listened to the rapper Bobby Ray Simmons – aka B.o.B. – talk about it. Whitehead watched some videos and realized he couldn’t prove the rapper wrong.

If you’re taking the world of a marginally literate fuckhead who calls himself a “rapper” on cosmology, then you really, seriously need to take a long, hard look at your life.

In all honesty, how can nitwittery of this sort even survive today?  People have known about the Earth being a sphere (well, actually, an oblate spheroid) for about five thousand years now.

I know I’ve harped on this particular stupidity before, and probably will again.  But this took place in my own Colorado, not very far from the Casa de Animal.   That brings a big group of idiots far too close for comfort.

Rule Five Three-Time Loser Friday

A long-time adviser to Her Imperial Majesty Hillary I, Dowager Empress of Chappaqua, said earlier this week that Her Imperial Highness will run for President again in 2020 – and that she’ll lose again.  Figures.  Excerpt:

Mark Penn, a top Democratic pollster and senior adviser to the Clintons and Andrew Stein, a Democrat who endorsed Trump in 2016, detailed why they think Lady Macbeth is ready for another go at the White House (via WSJ):  (Note:  The WSJ piece is paywalled.)

Expect Hillary 4.0 to come out swinging. She has decisively to win those Iowa caucus-goers who have never warmed up to her. They will see her now as strong, partisan, left-leaning and all-Democrat—the one with the guts, experience and steely-eyed determination to defeat Mr. Trump. She has had two years to go over what she did wrong and how to take him on again.

Richard Nixon came back from his loss to John F. Kennedy in 1960 and won the presidency in 1968. He will be the model for winning again. Mrs. Clinton won’t travel the country in a van with Huma Abedin this time, doing small events and retail politics. Instead she will enter through the front door, mobilizing the army of professional women behind her, leveraging her social networks, and raking in donations. She will hope to emerge as an unstoppable force to undo Mr. Trump, running on the #MeToo movement, universal health care and gun control. Proud and independent, this time she will sideline Bill and Mr. Obama, limiting their role to fundraising.

The generation of Democrats who have been waiting to take over the party from the Clintons will be fuming that she is back and stealing their show. But they revealed themselves to be bungling amateurs in the Brett Kavanaugh nomination fight, with their laughable Spartacus moments. She will trounce them. Just as Mr. Trump cleared the field, Mrs. Clinton will take down rising Democratic stars like bowling pins. Mike Bloomberg will support her rather than run, and Joe Biden will never be able to take her on.

Don’t pay much attention to the “I won’t run” declarations. Mrs. Clinton knows both Mr. Clinton and Mr. Obama declared they weren’t running, until they ran. She may even skip Iowa and enter the race later, but rest assured that, one way or another, Hillary 4.0 is on the way.

President Trump is no doubt salivating at the very idea.

The Democrats, if they have a single brain cell among them, must already be figuring out who in their party is going to bell the cat and tell Her Imperial Majesty to shut up and go home.  All they need in the 2020 election is Her Royal Highness cackling, shambling, stumbling, hectoring, being carried up stairs and fainting through another election.  Her 2016 campaign was a weird, surreal combination of Weekend at Bernie’s, Sally from Mystery Men and The Devil Wears Prada.

Her Imperial Majesty never had the campaign skills her husband wielded so effortlessly.  While it would be roundly amusing to see her bumble another Presidential run, the Democrats won’t allow it.  Their bench is pretty thin for 2020, but let’s be honest; of a list of bad candidates, she’s the worst.

It’s way past time the Dowager Empress retired.