Category Archives: KooKoo

Animal’s Daily SanFran Kookery News

Not in San Francisco.

This seems to be the week for kookery.  Now the sale of plastic water bottles has been banned at the San Francisco airport.  Yes, really.  Excerpt:

The new rule will apply to airport restaurants, cafes and vending machines. Travelers who need plain water will have to buy refillable aluminum or glass bottles if they don’t bring their own.

As a department of San Francisco’s municipal government, the airport is following an ordinance approved in 2014 banning the sale of plastic water bottles on city-owned property.

The shift away from plastics is also part of a broader plan to slash net carbon emissions and energy use to zero and eliminate most landfill waste by 2021, said airport spokesman Doug Yakel.

But, considering the approximately 4 million plastic water bottles sold per year at the airport, it may be more difficult for vendors to adhere to the water bottle ban.

Whether vendors out of compliance will be penalized is unclear, but Yakel said the airport hopes that “won’t be necessary.”

SFO vendors already are required to provide only compostable single-use foodware, including to-go containers, condiment packets, straws and utensils.

So in San Francisco nowadays:

You can crap on the sidewalk but you can’t buy a plastic water bottle.

You can shoot up heroin on the street but you can’t vape.

You can pitch a tent and set up housekeeping in a city park but you can’t have a plastic straw.

I’m glad that the San Francisco City Council has evidently solved all of that formerly great cities other issues so they can focus on this minutia, because…

…oh, wait…

They haven’t.  Bums are still shooting up in doorways, sleeping in the BART and crapping on the sidewalks.

The city’s crime rate is still pooching upwards.

Tourists are still buying feces maps to know where the particularly egregious messes are on any given day.

And young folks living in the area still can’t afford housing.

It’s sad to see a place that was, once, legitimately one of the country’s great cities, slowly descending into madness.

Animal’s Hump Day News

Happy Hump Day!

Non-bathing hippies claim they don’t smell.  Color me skeptical.  Excerpt:

David Whitlock has not showered or bathed for 15 years, yet he does not have body odour. “It was kind of strange for the first few months, but after that I stopped missing it,” he says. “If I get a specific part of my body dirty, then I’ll wash that specific part” – but never with soap. As well as germs, soap gets rid of the skin’s protective oils and alters its pH level. Although Whitlock appreciated gaining an extra 15 minutes a day from soap-dodging, his primary motivation was to encourage friendly microbes to live on him in symbiotic harmony. The bacteria get to feast on the ammonia from his sweat and he gets low-maintenance, balanced skin.

Just as awareness of the importance of the gut microbiome has led to a boom in probiotic and fermented foods and supplements, there is increasing interest in our skin microbiome: the trillions of microbes that protect us from pathogens and keep us healthy by making vitamins and other useful chemicals. In this unprecedentedly sanitised era, in which eczema, acne and problems associated with dry skin are rife, consumers are hungry for solutions. Even the mainstream brand Dove claims vaguely that its products are “microbiome-gentle”.

Bald assertion does not an argument make.

I’m reminded of a guy I knew in the Army that everyone called “Stinky.”  Every basic training company had one, I’m pretty sure; ours had to be “convinced” to shower regularly by being dragged in and scrubbed with the floor brushes.

I’d bet a substantial amount of money that these odoriferous folks don’t work at a job where they get dirty or sweaty.  Not too many people these days seem to know what it’s like to have a job where you have to shower after work, but boy howdy, I sure remember what that’s like.

Now I don’t like scented soap or (ugh) “body washes.”  I don’t use aftershave or cologne.  I use Ivory soap.  Pure, unscented Ivory soap.

And there have been times when returning from deer/elk season that the shower water has run off me grey.  In such a case, I’m damn well using soap.

Soaps clean well because they are surfactants.  They break down oils and greases and float them right off your skin.  I don’t use antibacterial soaps, not because I’m worried about my skin’s “microbiome” but because I think you can be over-sanitized to the point where your resistance is weakened.

I suppose, then, that there’s such a thing as being too clean.  But there sure as hell is such a thing as being too stinky.

Rule Five UFO Kookery News

And now, for something completely different:  A UFO organization claims to have advanced materials from a UFO.  Color me skeptical.  Excerpts, with my comments:

Former Blink 182 frontman and current UFOlogist Tom DeLonge says that his UFO research organization has acquired “potentially exotic materials featuring properties not from any known existing military or commercial application.” It has not yet provided any proof to back up this claim.

Because there are no exotic materials.

For 70 years, the UFO community has been engaged in active debate regarding physical debris from unidentified flying objects, but the general public got a true taste of that in 2017 when the New York Times ran an article about a secret Pentagon UFO program. The article tantalizingly noted that aerospace billionaire Robert Bigelow, whose interest in UFOs is no secret, modified buildings to house “metal alloys and other materials…that [allegedly] had been recovered from unidentified aerial phenomena.”

And yet, strangely, no actual evidence of those alloys has been released for independent confirmation.  Because there aren’t any.

These “alien alloys” quickly became the topic of great intrigue. DeLonge’s To the Stars Academy, a UFO research outfit that may or may not be broke, said that it has recently acquired some metamaterials, though it’s not clear whether they are the same ones referenced in the NY Times article.

They aren’t.  Because there aren’t any.

In an interview with Motherboard, Dr. Chris Cogswell, who hosts the Mad Scientist Podcast and who holds a PhD in Chemical Engineering, explained that we need to be incredibly cautious before jumping to conclusions. He expressed that layered magnesium and bismuth alloys are pretty common and are certainly easily explainable by science.

“Micrometer thick layers are made by mistake in metallurgy facilities all the time. The purification of lead by removing bismuth using magnesium is a perfectly reasonable explanation,” he said.

In other words, there aren’t any alien materials:  There are much more reasonable, Earthly explanations for any “exotic” materials.

Any claims of actual evidence related to UFOs should be taken skeptically, of course, but To the Stars has in the past been the first to publish video of military pilots seeing UFOs, so its claims cannot be dismissed immediately out of hand. It’s also worth noting that there are, of course, many materials scientists working on new alloys and composites all the time.

These claims can be dismissed immediately out of hand.  No military pilots have seen UFOs, if you define UFOs as “alien spacecraft visiting Earth.”  There have been unexplained sightings that might be other aircraft, or atmospheric artifacts, or just plain imagination.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.  If alien spacecraft have visited Earth, they would have come from a civilization that is thousands, maybe millions of years more advanced than us.  There would be no reason for them to be stealthy.  They wouldn’t bother to hide from us.  Their presence would almost certainly be obvious and probably wouldn’t end too well for us.

UFOs are as one with Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster:   They just plain don’t exist.

Animal’s Daily Indentured Servitude News

And then there’s this asshole.  Excerpt:

A presidential candidate hopes to break out from the back of the pack and into America’s hearts by promising to force America’s high school graduates to spend a year working for the government, whether they want to or not.

John Delaney has made it into the Democratic Primary debates this week, despite polling between 0 and 1 percent recently and looking and sounding like a character invented by Will Ferrell. Over the weekend he attempted to grab some attention by rolling out a plan for mandatory national service:


Under his plan, he explains on his site, “all Americans would be required to serve their country for at least one year, with an option to serve for two. This requirement would apply to everyone upon turning 18, no exceptions.”

To which I can only reply, “fuck off, slaver.”

Seriously, what the hell is this moron thinking?  In what insane universe is he living in to think this is a good idea?  It’s bad enough that our kids are already sentenced to twelve years in our government-run public schools, now shit-for-brains Delaney wants them to labor for the Imperial government for two more years?  I’d ask why, but the answer would almost certainly be “because fuck you, that’s why.”

And what “sense of shared destiny” is he talking about, exactly?  A shared destiny that involves government-mandated indentured servitude?

If that’s Delaney’s idea of shared destiny, I’ll have no damned part of it, and neither should anyone else.

Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks as always to Pirate’s Cove for the Rule Five links!

Programming note:  This coming Friday Mrs. A and yr. obdt. will be heading to Missouri for a few days of sun, relaxation, fishing and boating at Lake of the Ozarks; so next week on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday there will be some fulsome totty placeholders.  Regular news posts will resume on Thursday the 27th, probably with some scenery from that event.

Moving on:  The descent of the once-Great Britain continues apace; now British police are fighting domestic violence by handing out blunt-tipped knives, which will presumably make domestic abusers less stabby.  Excerpt:

The latest example of how far the UK has fallen? It’s handing out blunted knives to the victims of domestic abuse to reduce stabbings.

Victims of domestic violence will have their kitchen knives replaced with blunt utensils to prevent their partners attacking them in their own home.

Nottinghamshire Police are piloting the scheme where around 100 ‘no point’ knives will be handed to victims who have either been threatened or attacked with a knife.

Police are concerned about the high level of knife-related incidents that happen in the home, and are hoping the new scheme has the potential to save lives.

Domestic violence knife crime makes up more than 17 percent of incidents reported to Nottinghamshire Police.

In 2018/19, out of 900 reports of knife crime, 159 were related to domestic violence.

Superintendent Matt McFarlane, the new knife crime strategy manager for Nottinghamshire Police, who is overseeing the scheme, said: “We do see a fair amount of knife related incidents in domestic abuse not just on the streets.

Wow.

I mean, it’s almost like banning guns did nothing to reduce violence. Who would have thought?

Oh, wait, I did. So did a ton of other people.

Instead, bad people shifted over to a different tool to commit acts of violence. Now the British police are pushing these “knives” onto people to use instead. All I see are the scissors we buy for little children to use at school.

Oh, Britain, what happened to you?  This is the land that gave us Jack Churchill, W.D.M. Bell, Horatio Nelson and T.E. Lawrence.  Now you’re fighting crime by reducing your citizens subjects to the level of kindergartners.

What’s next?  Screwdrivers?  Cricket bats?  Pointed sticks?  Bananas?

Meanwhile, Britain’s crime rate creeps ever upwards.

This, True Believers, is what you see in a nanny state run amok.  And hang on to your hats, because there are plenty of pols who would put the same kind of insanity in place here.

Animal’s Daily Former Vegan News

Make sure to check out Part Five of my History of Bolt Guns series over at Glibertarians!

A nut from Finland has become marginally less nutty.  She still has a long ways to go.  Excerpt:

Early last year, Virpi Mikkonen was alarmed by the appearance of a rash on her face.

There were other problems: a bout of flu that was hard to shift; crumbling nails; feeling low; and, most worrying, her periods stopped. A blood test revealed her follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) levels had sky-rocketed to the level at which women hit the menopause. Virpi was 37 and having hot flushes.

‘I thought, what’s wrong with me? I am healthy, I exercise,’ Virpi says. ‘I was really scared.’

At the time, Virpi believed herself to be eating the healthiest of all diets: gluten-free, grain-free, dairy-free, meat-free, refined sugar-free. And what’s more, she’d built a career inspiring others to eat it, too.

But then this happened:

‘I felt I had run out of fuel, totally,’ she says. ‘I was empty.’ She is now particularly fond of bone broth, a bone stock she has as a hot drink or adds to stews and soups. She’s also eating eggs, which is a major departure because she used to refer to them as ‘miscarriages of chickens’.

The effects have been dramatic. ‘It’s amazing. I feel energetic, motivated. I’m sleeping better, the hot flushes and aching in my body have stopped.’ Best of all, her periods have returned. She was so relieved she danced round her flat. ‘I thought, OK, now I am back on track.’

Here’s the funny bit:

Virpi has yet to tell her followers the whole story, though recently posted about yin deficiency and ‘burn-out’. Her reluctance is more out of wanting to find the right time to bare her heart than fear of receiving irate messages, but she admits: ‘Vegans can be really judgmental.’

First up:  There’s no such thing as “yin deficiency.”  That’s utter horseshit, and if you read the entire article – do NOT read the comments if you value your blood pressure – you’ll see she believes in all manner of New Age-y horseshit.

But she’s dead right about “vegans” being judgemental.  If she hasn’t received outright threats on her life or well-being, I’d be pretty damn surprised.  The “ethical vegan” community contains plenty of folks who are not just judgemental, they’re outright fanatics.  Their worst examples are the nuts of the so-called Animal Liberation Front, who have been classed as a domestic terror group.  Fortunately there aren’t very many of them.

Were I to give Ms. Mikkonen any advice, it would be “eat whatever you see fit and shut up about it.”  But apparently she’s making a good living peddling New Age-y horseshit.  And, presumably, it’s worth whatever heat she’s taking for being a “vegan” apostate.

Animal’s Daily Stupid Idea #2,394,291 News

Kamala Harris has a stupid idea.  In other news, the sky is blue, water is wet, and Bernie Sanders has a bad haircut.  Excerpt:

Is there really a significant gap between what men and women earn? Democratic presidential candidate Senator Kamala Harris thinks so and she has a plan to fix it.

Politico:

Harris’ plan, which broadly mandates that companies prove they aren’t discriminating against women, proposes to fine corporations that don’t close their pay gaps between women and men — with the proceeds going toward building out universal paid family and medical leave.

Several studies have shown that women earn less than men, with the gap larger for Latinas and black women. Harris previewed the plan at a Sunday rally in Los Angeles, taking aim at the pay gap. “This has got to end!” she said.

The problems with this proposal begin with definitions. What is “equal pay” anyway? Even more problematic, what defines “equal pay for equal work”?

Government tries to assign numerical values to specific jobs to measure gender discrimination. But each company is different, and trying to use numbers to define value would appear to be a futile undertaking.

This isn’t stopping Harris, who wants to overhaul anti-discrimination laws and turn the system into a cash cow to fund pet Democratic social programs, including universal paid family and medical leave:

Companies would be fined 1 percent of their average daily profits for every 1 percent of wage gap during the last fiscal year, after accounting for differences in job titles, experience and performance. It would generate an estimated $180 billion over a decade.

Here’s problem number A:  When you normalize the data for payroll stats – somethings pols don’t know how to do – the “wage gap” disappears.  See also here.  And here.  And here.

But here’s the funniest bit:  The woman who is proposing this lunacy, which would create a huge Imperial bureaucracy to investigate the payrolls of every existing American business and place yet another staggering regulatory burden on the producers in our economy – the woman who is engaging in the biggest act of pandering since Caligula courted the equine vote by appointing his horse as Consul – first achieved political prominence in (where else?) California by the expedient of riding there on Willie Brown’s penis.

And she’s proposing herself as the champion of young women?  As a role model?  Don’t make me laugh.

Animal’s Daily Flat Earth Cruise News

Thanks as always to The Other McCain for the Rule Five links.  Also, go read the latest in my History of Lever Guns series over at Glibertarians, and if you haven’t yet, check out all my Glibs articles here.

With all that said:  I should have covered this yesterday, because these are some April fools if ever there were some.  Excerpts, with my comments:

Organizers of an annual conference that brings together people who believe that the Earth is flat are planning a cruise to the purported edge of the planet. They’re looking for the ice wall that holds back the oceans.

I predict they’ll be disappointed.

The journey will take place in 2020, the Flat Earth International Conference (FEIC) recently announced on its website. The goal? To test so-called flat-Earthers’ assertion that Earth is a flattened disk surrounded at its edge by a towering wall of ice.

So, if they find no such wall of ice but instead a great southern continent, will they admit that they have been mistaken all this time?  Or will they come up with another bullshit conspiracy “theory?”  I think we already know that answer.

Details about the event, including the dates, are forthcoming, according to the FEIC, which calls the cruise “the biggest, boldest adventure yet.” However, it’s worth noting that nautical maps and navigation technologies such as global positioning systems (GPS) work as they do because the Earth is … a globe. [7 Ways to Prove the Earth Is Round]

It won’t be a big adventure.  It won’t be a bold adventure.  If these people are truly serious about this, which is difficult to credit, this is the most foolish of fool’s errands.  This is more ridiculous than the Green New Deal, more ridiculous than a soup sandwich.

Believers in a flat Earth argue that images showing a curved horizon are fake and that photos of a round Earth from space are part of a vast conspiracy perpetrated by NASA and other space agencies to hide Earth’s flatness. These and other flat-Earth assertions appear on the website of the Flat Earth Society (FES), allegedly the world’s oldest official flat Earth organization, dating to the early 1800s.

Back when people believed in phrenology and humours, of which nitwittery the Flat Earth belief is of a kind.

However, the ancient Greeks demonstrated that Earth was a sphere more than 2,000 years ago, and the gravity that keeps everything on the planet from flying off into space could exist only on a spherical world.

More like 2,200 years, actually.  Eratosthenes of Cyrene calculated the circumference of the Earth pretty accurately around 245 BC.

Honestly these screwballs are really pretty funny.  While it’s hard to take them seriously, they certainly do appear to take themselves so; they’re as serious as the people who claim socialism is a workable economic system, evidence from such paradises as Venezuela, Cuba and North Korea notwithstanding.

Flat Earthers, indeed.  Well, we can always use more nitwits to point and laugh at.

Animal’s Daily Master Troll News

By now you’ve all heard about the laughable Green New Deal put forth by New York Congresscritter Alexandra Occasional Cortex.  Even though this piece of crap looks like it was strung together by a third-grade candidate for Student Council, Senate Majority Leader McConnell wants to bring it up for a vote in the Senate.

Why?  Because it’s a masterpiece of trolling.  I applaud this!  Excerpt:

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell says he plans a floor vote on the Green New Deal resolution proposed by Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and endorsed by many congressional Democrats. McConnell wants Senate Democrats to go on record on this radical proposal. He especially wants those running for president and those who may face tough reelection campaigns in 2020 to do so.

Would such a vote be a stunt? You could call it that, but you could also use the same word to describe a great many votes in both chambers.

The Green New Deal is a big deal, potentially. I see no reason why the Senate shouldn’t express its view of the idea.

Ocasio-Cortez responded to McConnell by saying, in effect, bring it on. She stated:

[McConnell] is trying to bully the party and he’s banking on people not being courageous. I think people should call his bluff.

When McConnell banks on something, he usually has good reason to. This seems like a case-in-point.

The response by Congresswoman Crazy Eyes was priceless, amounting to “how dare you bring up the resolution I sponsored for an actual vote!”

Trolling this may be and trolling it is, but McConnell, no newcomer to these kinds of games, has a purpose beyond just the lulz.  He’s going to make every member of the Senate stand, vote and be counted, either for this atrocity or against it…

…including all the Senate Democrats who have or who are planning to declare as 2020 Presidential candidates.  Any, including those who have already expressed support, will have that support hung around their necks like a millstone in 2020.

Some folks are about to be reminded that this ain’t Mitch McConnell’s first rodeo.

Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks once again to Pirate’s Cove and The Other McCain for the Rule Five links – and be sure to read Part 5 of my revolver history over at Glibertarians.

Meanwhile, in Ireland, some nut decided to self-treat his back pain by injecting his own semen intravenously.  Yes, really.  Excerpts, with my comments:

In a new case study, Irish doctors report the baffling case of a 33-year-old man who injected his own semen intravenously for a year and a half, a self-developed “cure” intended to treat his chronic back pain. It does not appear to have worked.

No shit.

After reportedly injecting semen into his arm every month for 18 months, the man finally sought medical attention—but not for his arm. The patient instead complained of “severe, sudden onset lower pack pain,” having lifted a “heavy steel object” three days beforehand. During his checkup, the doctor found a patch of red swelling on his right forearm, after which the man admitted he’d been injecting himself with his own semen using a hypodermic needle he purchased online.

So, in what insane universe does this seem like a good idea?  Is there some weird cult, subculture or pseudo-scientific quackery that advocates injecting semen to deal with chronic pain?  In what way does this Irish moron think this is going to deal with what sounds like a pinched nerve, a pulled muscle or at worst maybe some minor damage to his spine?

This time around, he had injected three “doses” of semen, entering both his blood vessels and his muscles.

If he was shooting for intravenous and hit intramuscular, then that’s an added data point proving that he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

While some might be tempted to speculate on his methods of obtaining and handling his own spooge prior to injection, I have to demur; that part of the process really doesn’t bear too much thinking about.  But I doubt concern over aseptic technique was one of the considerations, especially since he apparently repeatedly used a needle “he bought online.”

Apparently Spoogy McDipshit is going to survive this experience.  I suppose that’s a good thing, objectively, even though his history of decision making may well put him in candidacy for a Darwin Award at some point in the future.