Category Archives: KooKoo

Animal’s Daily Loony Flat-Earther News

Any of you True Believers from Australia? (We do get a few dozen hits a day, on average, from Down Under.)  If so, you may be surprised to hear that you apparently don’t exist.  Excerpt:

Australia is one of the biggest hoaxes ever created, and you have all been tricked. Join the movement today, and make it known that they have been deceived.

Make it known, that this has all just been a cover-up. The things these “Australian” says to be doing, all these swear words and actions based on alcoholism, MDMA and bad decisions, are all ways to distract you from the ugly truth that is one of the greatest genocides in history.

162,000 people was said to have been transported to this imaginary land during a mere 80 years, and they are all long dead by now. They never reached that promised land.

Tell the truth. Stand up for what is right.Make sure to spread the world – Australia is not real. It’s a codeword for the cold blooded murder of more than a hundred thousand people, and it is not okay. We will not, accept this.

Stand up for the ones who died. Let it be known, that Australia does not exist. [sic]

Uh huh.

Matthew Quigley begs to differ.

Now, to be clear, the article linked isn’t supporting the flat-earth view; it is, like we are doing here, poking fun at it.

What’s really odd is that there are actual organizations out there supporting this horseshit; see here and here for examples.  In this amazing modern era we live in, the idea that anyone could actually believe such an enormous, steaming pile of codswallop is… baffling.  But don’t worry overly much, Aussies; I haven’t been Down Under yet myself (it’s on my bucket list, though) but several people I know and trust have been, and they all tell me that yes, you really do exist.

As for the flat-earthers, well, there are people out there who believe all sorts of weird shit.

Animal’s Daily Dumb Idea News

Just when you thought we’d hit peak derp, along comes the Mayor of Stockton, (of course) California.  Excerpt:

Stockton Mayor Michael Tubbs says that for way too long, his city has been known for headlines about bankruptcy, violent crime and the housing collapse.

In the future, he wants it to be known as a place willing to test bold solutions.

Bold, and a little controversial.

Tubbs, a Stockton native and Stanford graduate who is all of 27 years old, wants to give at least $500 a month to a select group of residents. They’ll be able to spend it as they wish, for 18 months, in a pilot program to test the impact of what’s called guaranteed basic income.

Derp?  Sure.  We’ve seen this derp before.  But here’s where Tubbs hits peak derp:

If the very sound of that knocked you half off your chair, this next initiative might finish the job.

Stockton is about to award stipends of up to $1,000 a month to residents deemed most likely to shoot somebody. This program is called Advance Peace, and it’s modeled after a crime reduction program in the Bay Area city of Richmond.

The idea is that a small number of people are responsible for a large percentage of violence, and offering them an alternative path — with counseling and case management over an 18-month period, along with a stipend if they stay the course — can be a good investment all around.

“Let me be clear, Advance Peace is not a get out of jail free card,” Tubbs wrote in explaining the program on Stockton’s public safety website. “Participating in this program doesn’t erase the past, but it does help these young men learn how to make better choices for their own and our community’s collective future.”

There’s a difference between a vision and a hallucination, and time will tell with Tubbs. But I like the young man’s mix of rebelliousness, impatience and willingness to take risks.

There is a difference between a vision and a hallucination.  Mayor Tubbs’ vision is the latter.  And his hallucination will founder on one rock, namely:  How is he going to pay for all this?

California is, at present, essentially a Latin American economy, with a few enormously rich residents, a massive poverty-stricken population, and a moribund middle class.  Stockton has almost none of the first, a whole lot of the second and a few – maybe – of the third.

There’s just no blood to get out of that stone.

Of course, being an economic illiterate and quite possibly delusional is no bar to elected office, especially in California.  And the sad part is that his proposals will probably gain support in Stockton.  The siren song of Free Shit tends to have that effect.

Animal’s Daily Knife Control News

We’ve noted this line of thinking in the once-Great Britain before, but now it’s a judge making stupid statements about knife control.  Excerpt:

A judge has called for a drastic rethink on the way we use knives in kitchens in a bid to reduce the number of young men dying on our streets because of knife crime.

And he has come up with an idea for a scheme that could be rolled out across the UK where members of the public could take their kitchen knives to be ‘modified’ and the points ground down into rounded ends.

Here’s his line of thought, such as it is:

‘But why we do need 8′ or 10′ kitchen knives with points? Butchers and fishmongers do, but how often, if at all, does a domestic chef use the point of an 8′ or 10′ knife? Rarely, if at all,’ he said.

At the moment police forces hold ‘amnesties’ where bins are placed outside police station and members of the public can get rid of lethal weapons – no questions asked.

Judge Madge’s idea is for everyone to be able to take the knives from their kitchen drawers to centres where the points could be filed down.

‘I would urge all those with any role in relation to knives – manufacturers, shops, the police, local authorities, the government – to consider preventing the sale of long pointed knives, except in rare, defined, circumstances, and replacing such knives with rounded ends,’ he said.

He went on: ‘It might even be that the police could organise a programme whereby the owners of kitchen knives, which have been properly and lawfully bought for culinary purposes, could be taken somewhere to be modified, with the points being ground down into rounded ends,’ he said.

Oh, for the love of Pete.  Brits used to have some balls; this was a nation that stood alone against Hitler for months until the Soviet Union and the United States entered World War 2.  Now a British judge is whining about pointy kitchen knives, and in Scotland a man has been arrested for – I’m not kidding – brandishing a potato peeler.

The thinking here isn’t too different from that of American gun-grabbers, namely, blaming an inanimate object for the action of a person; effectively, blaming the sword for the hand that wields it.  Anyone with any knowledge of cause analysis knows the first rule of that art is that the tool is never the cause.  An action requires an actor.  That’s something this judge doesn’t seem to get.

And I never, ever thought Monty Python would end up being a documentary.

Animal’s Hump Day News

Happy Hump Day!

Someone read my Blue Monday post this week.  To be fair, this article added some stuff I  hadn’t really thought about; by all means, go read it.

Moving right along:  Here’s your kook of the day and, shamefully, Newsweek appears to be reporting this as straight news.  Excerpts with my comments:

Amethyst Realm, a 27-year-old “spiritual guidance counselor” in England, says sex with ghosts is much better than sex with men—and she should know because she’s made love with at least 20 ghouls.

She’s a “spiritual guidance counselor?”  So what possible reason might she have for, you know, making this shit up?

Realm said on the British TV show “ITV This Morning” last week that she experienced her first truly spiritual encounter 12 years ago after she and her then-fiancé moved into a new home together when she felt a strange presence.

No, she didn’t.

“It started as an energy, then became physical,” she told hosts Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby.  

No, it didn’t.

“There was pressure on my thighs and breath on my neck. I just always felt safe. I had sex with the ghost.

No, she didn’t.

You can feel it.

No, you can’t.

It’s difficult to explain. There was a weight and a weightlessness, a physical breath and stroking, and the energy as well.”

No, there isn’t.

Realm said she had a love affair with the ghost for three years before her human lover came home from work early and saw a shadow of what appeared to be a man. Since her first encounter, Realm has said she has had sex 20 times with various ghosts.

No, she hasn’t.

Is it possible to have sex with Casper The (little more than just) Friendly ghost? Experts say, yes (or, more accurately, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!).

No, no, no, no, NO!  You can only indulge your own oddball fantasies.

“People have the richest fantasies. If they’re getting pleasure from that fantasy, then it is possible,” said Rachel Sussman, a psychotherapist told Newsweek.

No, it’s not possible, any more than my imagining I can hunt a bull T-rex is possible.

It’s unfair, as there are plenty of reputable psychiatrists and psychologists out there, but indulging this kind of horseshit gives head-candlers a bad name.

Goodbye, Blue Monday

Goodbye, Blue Monday!

Thanks as always to Pirate’s Cove and The Other McCain for the Rule Five links!

File this under both “Darwin Award Looking For A Place to Happen” and “Absolute Nut Goes Nuts.”  Excerpt:

Seeking to prove that a conspiracy of astronauts fabricated the shape of Earth, a California man intends to launch himself 1,800 feet (549 metres) high on Saturday in a rocket he built from scrap metal.

Assuming the 500-mph (805-kmh), mile-long (1.6 km-long) flight through the Mojave Desert does not kill him, Mike Hughes told the Associated Press, his journey into the atmosflat will mark the first phase of his ambitious flat-Earth space program.

Hughes’s ultimate goal is a subsequent launch that puts him miles above Earth, where the 61-year-old limousine driver hopes to photograph proof of the disc we all live on.

“It’ll shut the door on this ball earth,” Hughes said in a fundraising interview with a flat-Earth group for Saturday’s flight.

Theories discussed during the interview included NASA being controlled by round-Earth Freemasons and Elon Musk making fake rockets from blimps.

Yes, True Believers, you read that right; Freemasons and Elon Musk are behind the “Round Earth Conspiracy.”  But here are the real laugh lines:

That said, Hughes isn’t a totally unproven engineer. He set a Guinness World Record in 2002 for a limousine jump, according to Ars Technica, and has been building rockets for years, albeit with mixed results.

“Okay, Waldo. 3 . . . 2 . . . 1!” someone yells in a test fire video from 2012.

There’s a brief hiss of boiling water, then . . . nothing. So Hughes walks up to the engine and pokes it with a stick, at which point a thick cloud of steam belches out toward the camera.\

Yes, that’s right; he poked it.  With a stick.

You just can’t make this stuff up.  Also:

“John Glenn and Neil Armstrong are Freemasons,” Hughes agreed. “Once you understand that, you understand the roots of the deception.”

Uh huh.

Here’s my favorite:

He won’t be able to test the rocket before he climbs inside and attempts to steam himself at 500 mph (805 kmh) across a mile (1.6 km) of desert air. And even if it’s a success, he’s promised his backers an even riskier launch within the next year, into the space above the disc.

“It’s scary as hell,” Hughes told the AP. “But none of us are getting out of this world alive.”

Here’s my prediction  Hughes won’t get out of that launch alive.

Now, some folks will be advocating for government interference with Hughes’ plan, to prevent him hurting himself.  I’m not in favor of that.  Not only should stupid people be conspicuous, I’m not particularly against allowing them to freedom to kill themselves, especially when it might be entertaining.   As long as he doesn’t crash into a populated area, and from his plans he doesn’t seem to be going over too many of those – I say, he should feel free to knock himself out.

Literally.

Animal’s Daily WTF News

Oh, for the luvva Pete.  I guess it was bound to happen; now some goober is claiming to be trans-racial.  Excerpt:

Riding in a flamboyant purple vehicle, Ja Du shows up to a coffee shop to open up about his new identity.

Ja Du, born a white male named Adam, now considers himself a Filipino. Turns out the purple ride he drives around in is called a Tuk Tuk, an Asian-derived vehicle used for public transit in the Philippines he says.

Ja Du is part of a small, but growing community of people who considers themselves transracial. It refers to someone born one race, but identifies with another.

Sound weird? Not to them. Ja Du says he grew up enjoying Filipino food, events and the overall culture.

“Whenever I’m around the music, around the food, I feel like I’m in my own skin,” he said.

“I’d watch the history channel sometimes for hours you know whenever it came to that and you know nothing else intrigued me more but things about Filipino culture.”

If you’re thinking this sounds familiar, you might remember the story of Rachel Dolezal. Dolezal was born white, but identified as black and portrayed herself as such. She was even the president of the Spokane, Washington, chapter of the NAACP.

After she appeared on an episode of Dr. Phil, the term transracial started to become more widely known. Now, we are finding out this community of people who identify as another race is growing. If you look on Facebook, where we found Ja Du, groups dubbed transracial are popping up with dozens of members.

Look, my stance on such things is well known; I really don’t give an ounce of rat’s pee what people do, as long as they leave me alone.  And whatever all of you various True Believers out there may think of trans-sexual people, at least there is some science behind that – there is such a thing as gender-body dysmorphia that has been known to psychiatry for a long damn time.

But this guy, in all seriousness, I can only believe is looking for his fifteen minutes and nothing more.  Unlike sex, race in humans is purely a social and cultural construct; humans have amazingly low genetic diversity as large mammals go.

This kook is just looking to get his name in the news.  Sad part is, he has succeeded.  And yes, I know I’m giving him more exposure now, but what the hell.

 

Animal’s Daily Grandstanding Windbag News

Some people have way too much time on their hands – or possibly too much booze in their snoots.  Possibly both.  Excerpt:

Democrats have been celebrating all day about their sweep of major races last night. And apparently, some of them have been hitting the hooch a little too hard.

Take Texas Rep. Al Green. Mr. Green rose on the House floor and delivered a speech about impeaching Donald Trump. Of course, he’s not the only Democrat to use the “I” word. But most Democrats are smart enough (or sober enough) to know that before a president can be impeached, there are definite constitutional protocols that need to be followed.

Green is either ignorant of how a president is removed from office, or, in a celebratory(and) inebriated state, doesn’t care. Whatever the reason, Green got carried away in the moment and predicted that Trump would be impeached “before Christmas.”

Here is a portion of Rep. Green’s statement:

There will be a vote in the U.S. House of Representatives, Mr. Speaker, on the impeachment of the president. Mr. Speaker, this vote will take place before Christmas because there still is a need for the public to weigh in. I announced earlier this year, I called for the impeachment of the president right here on the floor of the House.

Since that time, I’ve read articles of impeachment. These articles of impeachment have been circulated and we’re giving people an opportunity to respond. Momentum is building, Mr. Speaker. The momentum is building. More people favor impeachment than not. Momentum is building. People should weigh in, they should let others know how they feel about impeach.

What articles of impeachment has he read?  Among whom have these articles been circulated?  Has anyone responded?   And what the hell does “…let others now how they feel about impeach” even mean?

Is Rep. Green drunk or just stupid?

Here’s the thing; Rep. Green has to know damn well that there will be no articles of impeachment.  He’s just bloviating for his own personal voting base.

Imagine what the political process would look like if Rep. Green’s wet dreams about impeachment became reality; any President that did something that a member of Congress didn’t like would be dragged in front of an impeachment kangaroo court.  It might look something like this:

Rep. Green is, as I said, grandstanding.  That probably sits well with voters in his district, considering that they voted him in.

But to most of the country he just looks like a jackass.

Animal’s Hump Day News

Happy Hump Day!

A Congressional candidate from Florida has been to space.  In a UFO.  No, I’m not kidding, although she is very likely delusional.  Excerpt:

Rodriguez Aguilera, 59, a Republican who is running to replace retiring Miami Republican Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, recounted her experience with the ETs during a 2009 television interview.

She described “going up” inside the spaceship — though whether it went into space or just hovered around town was left unclear.

 “I went in. There were some round seats that were there, and some quartz rocks that controlled the ship — not like airplanes,” Rodriguez Aguilera said.

In two separate videos posted to YouTube years ago, one by local Spanish-language station America TeVe and another by a political critic with the user name DoralGirl26, Rodriguez Aguilera spoke on television in detail about her extraterrestrial experiences. She said the alien beings reminded her of the famous statue in Rio de Janeiro, Christ the Redeemer, with arms outstretched.

Among the things she said she found out from the aliens:

▪ There are 30,000 skulls — “different from humans” — in a cave in the Mediterranean island of Malta.

▪ The world’s “energy center” is in Africa.

▪ The Coral Castle, a limestone tourist attraction South Miami-Dade, is actually an ancient Egyptian pyramid.

▪ “God is a universal energy.”

She also said that the aliens had mentioned Isis, though she didn’t clarify if they meant the terrorist organization or the ancient Egyptian goddess.

Am I alone here in thinking this kind of delusional horse squeeze should disqualify Ms. Aguilera from office?  There are plenty of people who believe some odd things but are otherwise very functional within their field of work.

But this is something different.  This is of a kind with flat-earthers and hollow-earth loonies.  It’s of a kind with the lady I referenced last week that believed there was a city of superhuman aliens under a dormant volcano in California.

It’s of a kind with people who think socialism is a workable economic system.

Party registration be damned, this woman has no business holding office.

Animal’s Hump Day News

Happy Hump Day!

It’s sad and stupid, but apparently people thinking the Earth is flat is still a thing.  Excerpt:

The Flat Earth Society’s site — which posits that the idea of a round Earth is somehow related to the faking of the Moon landing — is remarkably well-designed and professional-looking, eliminating some of the old hallmarks of disinformation on the internet. The ease of creating a website as clean as this one is a problem that has been well-documented by information scientists. As recently as five years ago, high schools were teaching that you could identify a disreputable source by its cheap-looking site, bad design, and messy URL. That no longer holds.

Digital newsrooms churn out coverage of flat Earth truthers using tools that make it easy to find stories bubbling up from the depths of Reddit. Here’s how it works: conspiracy theories get people fired up enough to comment promiscuously, bringing them to the front of Reddit where journalists see them, says The Verge’s editorial director Helen Havlak. When a reporter writes an explainer of a new oddball conspiracy theory, the sharing and hate commenting that drove the theory to the top of Reddit reoccurs on Facebook. And, if the post is coming from a generally reputable outlet or involves a celebrity (e.g., B.o.B. or Kyrie Irving) or a major news event (e.g., a presidential election), it can also get a boost into the Top Stories slot on Google News. “Newsrooms watch each other’s highest-performing stories,” Havlak says. It’s common practice to use a tool that lets newsrooms make lists of their competitors and monitor the popularity of their posts (on services like CrowdTangle, for example) to see what’s doing well for other outlets, and what might be a sure traffic bet if they could find a fresh angle or a reason to weigh in. “People see all the traffic to be had, and look for the next thing trickling up from Reddit,” she says. “Cycle repeats.”

It is perhaps belaboring the obvious to note that counting visitors to a loony-tunes web doesn’t necessarily translate to those people believing in whatever brand of nutballery the site espouses.  However – the fact that a site exists is a pretty good indicator that the people who put the site up believe in that nutballery (parody and satire sites like the Landover Baptist Church aside).

And in this case, that’s just stupid and pathetic.

Seriously, folks – Eratosthenes of Cyrene calculated the circumference of the planet thirty-four freakin’ centuries ago.  This is hardly new stuff.  Still – there are people about who believe all manner of stupid shit.  When I was writing Misplaced Compassion, I was frequenting all sorts of Usenet (remember Usenet?) animal rights forums, and once encountered a nutbar who claimed to believe that there was a city of superhuman aliens hidden inside a dormant volcano in (where else?) California.

This is precisely as stupid as believing the Earth is flat.   It’s funny and sad all at the same time.

Animal’s Daily Enforced Pedestrian News

California, does thy nutballery ever end?  Now the Golden (hah) State is considering outlawing gasoline or diesel-powered cars.  Excerpt:

The head of the California Air Resources Board told Bloomberg News that the state is seriously looking into whether and how to make internal combustion engine cars illegal in the state, as part of its self-imposed plan to cut state CO2 emissions in 2050 to 80% of what it emitted in 1990.

That follows announcements over the summer that the UK and France will try to ban the sale of gas- and diesel-powered cars by 2040. More recently, China claims it will impose a ban in 2030.

The CARB’s Mary Nichols says California could implement such a ban in 13 years, and one state lawmaker plans to introduce a bill that would enforce it in 2040.

To put it bluntly, this is one of the most ill-conceived public policy ideas in a state that seems to have them in abundance.

First, some perspective.

According to the EPA, all transportation — cars, trucks, planes, trains and boats — are responsible for about a quarter of the nation’s CO2 emissions. The share contributed by passenger cars alone is considerably smaller than that. In the European Union, for example, cars account for 12% of CO2 emissions.

California’s move would make no noticeable dent in global CO2 emissions. Plus, it would take well over a decade before the entire car fleet turned over to all electric.

What’s more, the CO2 reduction claims from such a ban are wildly exaggerated.

Remember, electric cars don’t run on magic. They run on electricity. So forcing car owners to buy only electric cars will mean a massive surge in demand for electricity, which is generated largely by greenhouse-emitting natural gas and coal. In California, these fuel sources account for 40% of the state’s electricity. Solar and wind add up to just 17%.

Much of the CO2 “cuts” will really just be a shift from one source to another.

Here’s a consideration that the article doesn’t mention; how much of California’s economy depends on tourism, and how many of those tourists drive into that state?  If those people drive into California after the ban, will they find any gasoline stations to greet them, or will they be barred from bringing their faithful benzene-burners into the state?  What will that do to California’s economy?

Maybe whoever dreamed this piece of nitwittery up just believes in putting everybody afoot; perhaps they think there will be less mischief that way.

I don’t really care what China and France do in this regard.  But California has just produced another dumb idea in a long list of dumb ideas.